A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:theres a new guy started at my job-he has complicated history-wife left in august after 10 years-now hes casually dating someone already but i thought hes a lovely guy and we worked together for 3 days and spoke about loads i think i have feelings for him-i cannot understand why. ive come out of a bad relationship 7 months ago and dont need any hassle in my life but from asking casually other colleagues some think hes too cocky and bragging.-ive never seen thatbut anyway we spent a lovely 3 days together at work -ive helped him loads now im annual leave and hes gone cool-as in hes teeling me about how hes getting on with everyone great etc and i feel left out-whats happened and what should i do-its a right mess and now hes got a potential girlfriend too help !
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shikiraclare +, writes (29 November 2009):
I would definitely say that three days of intense talking and companionship with this man you work with, was never going to guarantee anything more than just a work-related relationship.Because he was new, he found someone he could get along with and maybe there were some attraction on his part for you, but didn't want to complicate the working relationship by making it a sexual one (assuming he did have these feelings) but talking lots even on an intimate level; does not then mean it is an invitation to take things further. Many people have found themselves in similar situations like these before and have often made the mistake of thinking that intimate talk then leads to something more - it takes a lot more than this for someone to grab our interest and time is all important (3 days isn't enough) for anyone to start developing feelings of intimacy regardless of intense talking.Your annual leave has been an abrupt ending to the bonding you felt that you were having with him and this has given him the opportunity to talk with others at work and make himself part of the work-force which is very important for him to do. It's ironic how things work out in the end, but it's never a good thing when two work colleagues get it together when this could affect the working relationship.Sounds to me like you have had a lucky escape in some ways and if he has already been through emotional crisis with other women in his life and is dating casually, then maybe it's not a good idea to become fixated on him? - whatever potential girlfriend is on the horizon, just be glad that it isn't you if you already have your doubts about him and listening to your own intuition is key that saves you from potential suffering.
|
