A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm seeking advice in regards to a friend of my fiancé's. I've know him for a coupled of years. I'm not trying to lead him on but I don't know if I'm reading his actions right or wrong? He started out being friendly always asking how I am, if I'm ok or giving me advice on issues I've had he's on my Facebook, would always ask about my posts.. I found out from my fiancé he often asking about me to him what I like, what I do or why I do things etc etc.. One day he came and said hello this was when my partner and I were having issues, he said to me he doesn't want me to leave because he would lose me cause I'd move away.. I didn't think too much of that until later! He then apparently commented and said I have nice to boobs which got back to me.. He often was always looking at me, smiling at me or winking at me and sometimes he's nudge me or bump into me and this was in front of my fiancé.. Now things have changed all of a sudden, on Facebook one day I posted that I was hungry n he replied to it with give your partner a blowjob and hell get u something! He then deleted me off Facebook, he doesn't talk to me much now, I know he's having issues with his wife but he goes to my fiancé at work and tells him I'm not good enough for him, and if he sees something on my Facebook that he thinks is directed at my partner he goes to him at work and tells him all about it n whinge so about me.. I liked having him as a friend as I thought he was genuine but now I don't know how to take his actions? I was starting to think he had a thing for me but now I think he just hates me.. I don't dwell on this but due to a very bad breakup from a long relationship from my previous ex I lost all my freinds cause they were all his and being new to this area I enjoyed having someone to talk too.. Can anyone help with what u think may have happened, I just don't know wether to steer clear and watch what I say when I am around him.. He's my partners mate so we se him on occasion. Thanks for your help I'm so confused as to what I've possibly done..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2014): I've had some time to think about what's been said, do u think it's wise to have a chat to him n tell him point blank? Be honest and just tell him we can stay friends but that's all?!If he still carries on then I'll take it further & tell my fiancé he's not welcome anymore for those reasons..
A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (29 June 2014):
 No need to feel foolish! We all make mistakes. He also misinterpreted the situation.
Mark
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi and Thankyou for your advice, I did think he had ulterior motives but I suppose I was hoping I was over-reading things! I've always had male friends as I tend not to get along with women.. I'm worried I've encouraged this by being too friendly to him.. I just feel gutted because I've read the situation wrong and feel like a fool.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 June 2014):
 He was never a friend.
The guy was CLEARLY hitting on you. MARRIED guy to boot.
And now that you didn't SEEM to get that he was hitting on you he feels slighted, with his marriage on the rocks (wanna bet it's because he is more FOCUSSED on other women then his wife?) he lashed out at you.
My guess is he KNEW you enjoyed his attentions and he was hoping you might play along.
Be polite when you are around him, but honestly, I'd avoid being alone with him or give him ANY kind of ammo. Also, BLOCK his dumbass from your Facebook.
Next time you make a good friend, I'd suggest a female or at least a guy who doesn't seem to have ulterior motives.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (28 June 2014):
Im sorry but I think the point you missed for too long was that he wasn't a friend, he was someone who found you attractive and clearly had a thing for you. Winking, staring, smiling, touching, brushing against you, being overly friendly, telling you he didn't want you to move away, the prevalence of facebook comments, his comments about your boobs....all show he was liking you more than just as friends. He clearly had a thing for you for a long time.
He is jealous of your fiancé as he wants you for himself. You need to tread carefully now as he is trying to influence your finance. You need to speak to your partner and tell him all that's gone on. He needs to know that this guy is trying to come between you and that you are uncomfortable.
You have not really done anything wrong, but I do think you missed the fact he was more than just a friend in his eyes. He was trying to move in on your fiancés territory and you saw it as genuine friendship.
This guy was clearly overstepping the mark and now, possibly because your marriage is getting closer or because he has realised you are not interested, he is making trouble.
Mark
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