A
female
age
41-50,
*hanib
writes:Is he interested or just playing games!I recently decided to join a online dating site!I met a older guy, he is 51 and I am 40.We first met for coffee, we chatted for a few hours and all went well!He was consistent in his persist with regular texts and phone calls!2 days after we met he invited me to the cinema, then around his home about a week later for dinner! He was a gentleman and never tried anything but a kiss!A few days later we arranged to meet again for coffee! This time however we popped into a home store and he bought new bed linen!He was a little suggestive but I shrugged it off! Later that week he seems to go slightly quiet and I didn't hear from him properly for a few days! I've noticed he uses whatapp and is frequently chatting online.He then asks me if I'm free sat night but doesn't bother to arrange a time . I assumed he was busy but eventually hear from him at 7pm that evening! He says he tired and needs a massage and would I like to come over!So I agree and go over! I spend the night, we both got a little touchy feely and massage each other but nothing else occurs apart from kissing and cuddling! I left early that morning as he was going to the gym! I've heard nothing from him since! I'm confused as I feel he's sending me mixed signals and I'm not sure if he likes me or not! Should I now wait and see if he contacts me as I don't want to seem like I'm needy and desperate!Surly if a guy has a lady spend the night and he liked her he'd want her to know! I thought a older guy would know what he wanted!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2015): Why bother? He sounds like a sleaze ball.
He needs a massage and takes you to buy new sheets.
Come on you can do better than this!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 June 2015):
 Yep, I agree with SVC
He is looking for sex.
Buying sheets when out with you and being suggestive was HIM testing the waters, you SHOT him down, so he went "slightly quiet" for a little while then did the whole "are you available Friday?" but he doesn't arrange a time or a proper ate, not gives you a (almost booty-call) at 7 pm talking "massage". And again he didn't GET laid, so he will probably be quiet a little while again. He even "kicked you out EARLY the next day as he was going to the gym... WHY? Because he didn't get laid. I'd say a guy who REALLY wanted to get to know you would have spend some time with you instead and done the Gym later....
Either he is dating multiple women (seeing someone else when he goes quiet) or he is rethinking his "strategy" to get you into bed asap.
I agree that I would stick to dates IN public, not in his bedroom or on his couch.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2015): so very confused- I concur!
sounds like he knows exactly want he wants
the signals seems pretty clear to me. Also I don't think making yourself available at 7pm that night was a very good thing to do. Makes it look like you will drop everything to go see this guy as soon as he clicks his fingers.
OP I think you know where this is going, if you are looking for an actual relationship then it doesn't look like this will be good for you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 June 2015):
 OH he knows what he wants alright... and it's not what you want.
He wants to get laid.
a guy that calls at 7 pm on a saturday night and for a second date invites you over to give him a massage... has ONE thing on his mind...
the fact that you went tells him he can wear you down..
I would have said "sorry to hear that maybe next week we can go out have a nice evening"
if he calls and asks you over again... be busy. if he doesn't call to ask to take you out in public, say no.
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