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female
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anonymous
writes: Is the guy I'm kind of talking to abusive and a cheater? He started talking to me in the spring while he still had a girlfriend, (he soon broke up with her) and then I broke it off because I didn't feel ready for another relationship since I was on the rebound. He freaked out and grabbed my friend's arm and then she hit him at the bar because he wanted to talk to her about me but she didn't want to hear it. So I didn't talk to him for about six months and now we're talking again. He was recently dating a girl but then just told me he ended it with her. Is he a cheater and abusive? Where do you draw the line? Because I think I might like him, but need to know if I should stay or go.
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female
reader, DEBS83  +, writes (22 October 2006):
 id get to know him first see what he is really like cus this girl who told you those things abt him may well be lyeing as she might not want him to be with anyone else give him a chance and see how things go good luck
A
female
reader, sarafina1984 +, writes (22 October 2006):
Hi! I think you should really take your time and get to know him. Just by the fact that he has a lot of relationships one after the other makes it seem as if he can't be alone and may not have a good relationship with himself yet. Be his friend, date other people and let him reveal himself to you. You have plenty of time. But do pay attention to your instincts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2006): You say you were "kind of" talking to him. Then you said you broke it off. Were you actually dating him as a bf or not? (My impression is "not.")
It would seem that he didn't understand why you suddenly stopped talking to him, and wanted to ask your friend about it. True, he should not have grabbed her arm, but then, SHE hit HIM.
From what you have said, he doesn't sound abusive or a cheater. You see, UNLESS you are sleeping with a guy, BOTH you and he are entitled to date others as well. If you want him not to see others - or if he wants you to see only him - you have to ask him to be exclusive with you. But again, as I said, once sex comes into the picture, neither one of you should be dating others, then it IS cheating!
Should you stay or go? Well, depends partly on what his situation is. If he is having sex with the girl he's dating now, then don't get involved with him. If not, or if he has broken up with her, then you can date him.
More important, is: do you sense that he is or is not a truthful, trustworthy person? If you ask him a question of any kind (esp. about this) do you think he's likely to give you a straight answer? This, and your gut feeling is what you need to pay attention to. But you could still ask him.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Keeley +, writes (22 October 2006):
 Hi
If your gut instinct tells you that omething is not right then steer clear you say yourelf you have seen things he does and it is obvious you dont like it. What chance could you possibly have of a good relationship with this guy. Please keep away from him if he is a violent person think of yourself and your safety first.
Best wishes
Keeley
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