A
female
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*x!T!x!
writes:ok everyone i need some advice my friend is...or should i say was having a casual relationship with this guy since last year they didnt see each other all the time but she was definetly ok with that but now he doesnt want to see her anymore unless hes wanting "u know what" thats the only time he'll call her which is like once in a blue moon and she still thinks theyre together (well i think she knows deep down but she wont admit it)people are laughing at her and i cant stand it ....i know i should just say right out to her but i cant coz it would kill her and i love her to deaf what should i do ??? any advice would be greatly appreciated thanx !x!T!x! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, !x!T!x! +, writes (19 May 2007):
!x!T!x! is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for all the help guys she has now realised what was goin on i just let her figure it out for herself but now the same things happening to her with other guys i think she just doesnt get the fact that they are letting her think it is a casual relationship when in fact its just a booty call for lack of a better term lol so im just staying well clear now its her own choice, thanx again x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2006): It depends on the person receiving the words. However, as you put it, it seems like your friend isn't willing to come out of the illusion. In this case, I would go to your friend and tell her something like this, "Please know that I will be here for you when you need me." Give her a knowing look, possibly a hug, and go on about my own business.
Sometimes, as I have learned from Dr. Pete is that you can't always act on what you would do for yourself, and rather with some tact, depending on the severity and the person involved, act on an alternative means to get something across - even if it may be subtle and indirect.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (18 October 2006):
 Hey,
Ask yourself if you were in her position, how would you want someone to tell you.
Once you got that, follow through. It is the most honest approach there is.
Her repuation is being hurt. She needs to know.
You can expect that if she does not like hearing what you tell her, she may drop you as a friend, at least temporarily, but if you are a true friend, you will be there for her after she calms down and turns back to you.
Good Luck.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, BeckaR +, writes (18 October 2006):
 Unfortunately there isn't much you can do, especially when it comes to a close friend that is in a situation like this. If you point out to her your concerns, she is probably just going to say you are jealous or something and that won't be good for either of you.
My advice to you is to just be there when she is ready to make changes on her own. If she asks for your advice or what you think about him, let her know what you are feeling and thinking. Stick to facts though, she can't argue those with you.
Best of luck and remember just be there when she needs you...and trust me, she will!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): You can talk to her until you are blue in the face. Your friend is obviously mad about this guy!!! The only thing you can do is let the relationship run it's course until she realises that he is using her, but she must realise this by herself. I know it is hard for you as a caring friend but to air your views at this time could ruin your frindship.The only thing you can do is be a true friend, when she discovers it for herself, let yours be the first shoulder she cries on.
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