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female
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*rincessgirl1984
writes: I really like this guy I have worked with for about 9 months. We will call him Mike. We used to have this really strange relationship where we just picked on each other constantly, and then slowly I started having feelings for him. I was wondering if the feelings were mutual.Here are some of the things that he does that lead me to believe he likes me: he always picks on me and gives me a hard time. When we are talking he constantly makes eye contact and his eyes light up. He noticed when I wore eye makeup to work one day and asked when I started wearing eye makeup. If I am talking to someone else and he is present, he is always staring at me the whole time I talk.These are just a few things. So do you think all this means anything and that I should go for it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (9 October 2005):
 It's not such a "strange" relationship that you've described; it's just a typically adolescent one. I don't mean to sound harsh, because everyone progresses from "chasies on the playground" through "Do his sarcastic put-downs mean he likes me?" - eventually, we hope - to healthy adult relationships. This one sounds like it's just trying to break free of that middle stage.
In answer to your question: he doesn't sound like he's particularly repelled by you (even if he has an odd way of showing it), so, if you're interested in him, why NOT go for it? You've got nothing to lose.
But instead of trying to mind-read and assigning deeper meanings to his every gesture, why don't you just find out for sure if he likes you? Ask Mike if he'd like to meet for coffee after work, or mention that there's a Boris Karloff film festival in town and would he be interested in going, or explain that your uncle gave you two tickets to a hockey game, so you were hoping he was free on Friday night... etc etc. Something lightweight and fun that you know he'd be interested in doing.
It doesn't have to be an earth-shaking event that ends up with the two of you swearing a life-long love. Just invite him to something outside of work, where you can have a laugh and get to know each other a bit more. Even if you invite him along to a get together with some of your other friends, you'll definitely get a feeling for whether he's interested in being something more than workmates.
The only possible fly in the ointment is the difficulty of having to work with him later, if a romantic relationship between you goes awry. Try to think about the implications of working with someone you dated in the past and now don't like - this happens more than you might think! - and be sure that you have a back-up plan if things don't work out between you.
Good luck with it!
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