A
female
age
30-35,
*inkbunni3xz
writes:I am in need to vent.My ex-bf and I have been having some issues. We've been on and off for a while. He initiated the first two and I initiated the last one. I initiated because I was just so tired of him not responding to me and just wishing he could be my support as well. It was not like I ever loved him less but I hate the feeling of being abandoned. When I broke it off, I regretted it because I know I want to be together I just didn't want to be ignored anymore. When I went to see him, I said to him I am sorry I overreacted but I never give up in a relationship unless I was really something pretty strong and I was freaking out at the time on impulse. He told me he needed a week to think because he wasn't "ready" to have this conversation.He's pretty impulsive and gets swayed by his emotions pretty easily. A lot of his friends even describe him "manipulating" because sometimes he gets pretty selfish and does what's best to benefit him. It's sad because I thought he valued romance and would never give up or at least that's what he told me...I give him all the time he needs to think. I have never bugged him once. I already think I'm a goddess for having this long of patience. Today I went on facebook and searched up for his name and I realize he just blocked me today!. I am extremely angry and appalled at his behavior. He couldn't even of messaged me to say he didn't want to be together? He disappears and then just "blocks" me. I guess that his way of ending it!?!?I know I deserve at least an answer, even though no answer is the answer. I have a hard time letting go especially when it comes to romance. I would of never stopped trying if he does not stop trying. And I would never give up if he never gives up. I guess he didn't really give me another option to except to hate his guts and making me think he is such a coward that cannot man up to his decision.Out of all my breakups I usually walk away in tears, thinking it's always my fault and I'm not a great girlfriend. This time around it's different.I know I deserve better. It will probably take me a while to get over him and that's just time. I am still heartbroken-ed it ended. I really really did the best I could with what I had at this time.
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female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (23 April 2012):
when you use break-ups as manipulation tactics (rather than to permanently end the relationship for real), not only do you lose credibility to the other person but it tends to weaken an already weak relationship even more. because now you have lowered the standard for what is acceptable behavior while still IN the relationship. And you have replaced open communication with playing cruel games on each other. From then on in the relationship one or both parties may resort to more frequent or outlandish punishment tactics to hurt the other or pressure them, and you just can never know if your partner is just messing with you again or if this time it is a 'real' break up for good. This creates or deepens the air of mistrust and dishonesty in the relationship and is destructive not just to the relationship but to your mental health as well.
I think it's time to end this unhealthy cycle, by staying permanently broken up. You just can't know anymore if he's just messing with you now, or finally serious. The point is, a relationship where this is even the question, is not one that you should stay in. Just remember in your next relationship not to issue a break up unless you really mean it.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 April 2012):
 I read this carefully through, and what really stood out for me to respond to is that if there is anything you can take out of this, it's that there are some really valuable things you can take out of how this has gone down.
First and foremost is a really big one, and when I say big, I mean NEON LIGHTS big.
Never ever ever EVER use a breakup to try to get a message across. A breakup, a divorce, a "call it quits" is what's considered to be a Nuclear Event. This has the same effect of pointing a gun and pulling a trigger. You can't call it back.
You only break up if you want it to be OVER. This means that you're not teaching lessons. You're ending things for good and forever. You broke up with him. He just got off the yo-yo, which brings me to the second HUGE point to take from this:
Second, a relationship that's on-again, off-again is pretty much doomed. If a relationship has this much drama where you're actually counting breakup initiations, (his 2 to your 1), it's not a good position. This ties into my first point. Relationships with too many breakups are flaky. Flaky relationships are doomed.
If he comes back, which is possible given that he and you are into this sort of drama, do not break up with him unless you want it done and ended. I mean it -- never use a Nuclear Event until you want it over. He committed a nuclear event in blocking you.
I would, at this point, move on. Remember, demanding attention to the point of a break up can be seen as high-maintenance. If you're needing attention or support, you ask directly for it. Communication to get what you want is harder than people think, as they tend to focus on side issues (i.e. "You watch too much sports! Don't you care about us at all??") and don't truly ask for what they want (i.e. "I really miss you and need some "us" time together. Let's go out on Thursday night!")
No Nuclear Events unless you mean Nuclear, not "Teach a Lesson and Take Back The Breakup" because even if one gets back together after a Nuclear Event, the scar forever changes the landscape of the relationship. Don't think so? Just ask a someone whose partner breaks off an engagement. Ouch.
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A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 You have the right attitude Hun as long as know who you are then walk away with your head high knowing it wasn't you it was him. You broke it off because he wasn't treating you right god for you I say you are strong and know what you disreve. Keep your anger away it only makes you feel worse and brings you down and makes you do impolsive things. He has shown how much of a coward he is and how selfish he is I feel sorry for the next girl but am dam proud of the way you held your ground for what you believe don't be disheartened you know you deserved better x x
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