A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is having a financial problem. He's avoiding meeting me, giving me excuses like traffic congestion. He admitted that spending time with me (lunch, tea) makes him spend money. What made me very angry is when he added, "When I stay at office instead of going for lunch with you, I don't have to spend a penny" Is it justified for him to feel and do that? I think that the financial issue is straining our relationship. What's a relationship without dates?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2012): NEVER lower your expectations. Better find a different guy. If you aren't asking him something outrageous he should be able once in a while take you out to lunch. Otherwise why would u want go be with someone who can't even spend a couple bucks on a date.
There are some guys out there who are ALWAYS broke. Doesn't matter how much money they make.
Also of course it wouldn't hurt if you treat him once in awhile like picnic or home made dinner. If he can't afford a girl who is reasonable than may be its time to take a second job
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 July 2012):
Don't get me wrong, I've been unemployed and nearly broke, and it's not easy. But at least with my girlfriend I just said "I'm unemployed, broke, so forgive me if at this time I can't spend a lot". I never lied to her, never avoided her, never blamed 'traffic' or anything.
Your boyfriend sounds a bit stingy to be honest. To say to you "When I stay in the office instead of going to lunch with you, I don't have to spend a penny" is cruel and stingy. He can make his own lunch and go sit with you in the park if he feels like that.
Personally, I think that you should look again at this relationship. Even the poorest man who's into his girlfriend will make some sort of effort somehow. Your boyfriend just sounds like Scrooge to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): He needs to get used to the idea that dating requires money. That's funny how some guys want to have the best of both world: a girlfriend and his money untouched. He is young but already is a cheapskate. Inwould drop him in a second.
It's a horrible quality to have, and there is nothing can be done to change it. It sit deep incise of you and nothing can change it
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Do you expect him to spend money on you he hasn't got? It's not fair of you to demand something he can't give you. If you want this relationship to work, you need to lower your expectations. If you can't be happy with this, find someone with more money and release this guy from expectations he can't meet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): Umm... Maybe ask him then what he expects from your relationship and where he sees it going if he isn't willing to make the effort with you.
If he fails to show any interest in that then I'm sure he's making it clear that he isn't too bothered, and you can find someone who will appreciate you the way a boyfriend should do.
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A
female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (9 July 2012):
 What has made him feel like this? When you have lunch together to you go to expensive places to eat? Why not suggest a picnic that you can assemble yourselve(hopefully the weather is sunnier in Australia than here).
If he rejects the idea, then I think he's just making a lame excuse not to spend time with you.
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