A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a problem. My girlfriend and I have been dating for awhile but her ex keeps coming up. They were in a very deep relationship. He went above and beyond to spoil her. Now I share some of the same qualities and views that he has but I'm still my own person. I ask her if she's over him and she always tells me yes. Says she loves me and that's it. However I get the idea that she expects me to spoil her as he did because she had grew accustomed to it. I have this burden of feeling like I have big shoes to fill. Am I wrong for feeling this way? How am I suppose to make her see things differently?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012):
Spoiling someone over the excess isn't a good idea especially my take in a relationship.
I believe that having time for each other, close intimate time .. May that be cuddle or more, talking and being there for each other is more important than spoiling someone with gifts or whatever it is they want..
It would seem by what you post you have a girl who needs a lot, and is quite happy to hint about it..
If your not comfortable doing whatever it is you feel she wants, tell her.. As you rightly said, you are not her ex.. And you do not need to live by his standard. .
Take care
A
female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (1 December 2012):
 Some people get used to that kind of life butt what they also have to realise is that the fact is they are an ex for a reason so yes they may have spoilt them but whose to say that was a good thing? Maybe it was to stop them from prying where they are not meant to so to speak. Just put her straight tell her you're not her ex and you'll treat her as you know she deserves to be treated but it may not be spoiling her but you'll show her in your own way so she knows that she's being spoilt but in a different way to being showered in gifts or which ever she experienced.Everyone is different if you tell her she should just accept it and try not to make you feel like you're in a competition with her ex about who can spoil her the most.Hope this helps.
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