A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is a girl who works for the same company i do who i really like, she also likes me (as in fancies me) too. She has not told me this herself and nobody else has told me this, but not wishing too sound arrogant i know when a women is attracted to me through experience and she displays all the classic signs i.e starring at me when she thinks i am not looking at her, and the occasions i stare back at her she keeps staring for a good few seconds before turning away, smiling at me when we walk past each other in the corridor or when i talk to her. She also asked me to dance with her at the office Xmas party, which i declined at the time as i was really hot and i had just eaten a 3 course meal so was rather bloated and did not feel like dancing. However in hindsight i wish i had. My problem is that even though this girl likes me she has a boyfriend. She has never mentioned this to me, but i know that she does as i have overheard her speaking about her boyfriend to other people and from what i can gather she actually lives with her boyfriend which suggests to me it is a pretty serious. So i want to know is it worth my while asking this girl out? And even if she initially declines do i persist for a while knowing that she likes me. At the beginning of June all the staff in the department i worked for were reshuffled and put into new teams and as a result we no longer work on the same floor so i don't get the chance to speak to her much anymore. Also is it possible that even if a girl clearly fancies a guy some girls just stare at guys that they fancy in the hope that the guys fancy them back just for a boost to their ego/confidence but actually have no intention of making a move on a guy or want the guy in question to make a move on her.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): Same situation myself. Knowing how to handle the situation is hard. I only found out she had a boyfriend recently which came as a massive shock and deflated me. People at work even comment on how we are like a couple and we havent worked together for long. She gets attention from other guys at work and although I cant be 100% of course, I sense there is a mutual spark between us as we get on so well.
I would never dream of making her end it or putting pressure on her as it would make me insecure if we had a relationship further down the line, but I feel I need to express my feelings subtly. The chance never seems to arise though. It actually makes work stressful too.
A
female
reader, Bubbles513  +, writes (1 July 2010):
Im sure you dont want any drama and your too grown for games so i recommend you not ask her out if you know for a fact she has a boyfriend, but you can tell her in a casual way that your into her and are not asking her out only because you know she is involved with someone, but would love to be her friend. This way, you make a new friend and also expressed your feelings so if she ever becomes available you will be th 1st to know if she wants to consider a date. Ya never know what might happen or what her relationship is with him s dont push it. Stay in your boundaries, express casually and if its meant to be, she will come to you, dont try to ruin something you know nothing about, that might turn her away be safe not sorry. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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