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male
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*asonallen
writes: my girlfriend of 1 year has been communicating with her ex husband which she divorced 17 years ago, they call each other every monday and friday, which she initiates. they have seen each other every year in wash. d.c. where they spent their honeymoon. the last time they slept together was 2 years ago. she then looked up her first boyfriend and has been in contact with him since last october. they have spent about 4 hours on the phone and she has gone to see him at his house. he is getting divorced. i had seen their text messages...."it was so good to hug you" him: "you are always on my mind"back to the ex husband, they are always talking about how much they miss each other, ending their e-mails..I miss you, you are always on my mind, i could never forget your voice, cyh, xoxoxo, etc. and "i love you" they also call each other on their wedding anniversary.i confronted her on this and said this is unacceptable and no man would tolerate this. she said we are "just friends..." there is nothing going on. we always had this relationship. i think i'm going nuts and cannot tolerate this. i love her and every time i just ask her about these incidents she gets very angry and defensive and starts "reeling" into me about how she always had these relationships and i am insecure. am i nuts or what?? also just to add she just recently got a new e-mail address on yahoo, changed the password on our cell phone bill and changed the password on her cell phone voice mail. please advise!!!
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anniversary, divorce, her ex, insecure, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, jasonallen +, writes (28 December 2006):
jasonallen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have recently split up due my own doing. She cannot still understand what was wrong with what she was doing. The last day I saw her was the day I confronted her about all the issues and left. She got angry on that day because I was attempting to split a relationship/friendship she always had...however, all I wanted to here her say is she won't have this type of relationship with all the endearments, i.e., I love you, calls on their wedding anniversary, etc. I still feel for her and miss her to this day, but....I maintain my status. Thanks for everything.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006): she's being extremely sketchy. nobody who's being faithful would write their ex-husband emails saying things like "you are always on my mind" or "i could never forget your voice." that's not normal friendship. normal friendship would just end with a "see you later." or "sincerely". or maybe even a simple "love, so and so." also, calling each other on their wedding anniversary is pretty sick. if i were you, i'd be really angry. she's obviously not over this guy, and he's obviously not over her. i would advise you to consider ending this relationship, or at least give her a serious altimatum. i'm not for altimatums generally, but this behavior needs to stop. she needs to decide whether she wants you or her ex. and i think it's up to you to put your foot down.
ps: the only reason she gets angry and defensive is because she has something to hide.
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