A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A teacher this year, that taught me in a subject that wasn't my strongest, so I'd always coming for extra help after school, and naturally we got to know each other, but as the year came to an end, I started to realize that he was treating me different, I started to realize that sometimes he would flirt with me, but he really never did anything that made me feel weird or uncomfortable but after awhile, he started doing things, like making fun of little things I would do in class, or he would say, "I love you, I just want you to know that.", or you will always have a special place in my heart. and when he saw me before graduation, he told me I looked beautiful, and said that this year has been a year he won't forget, because he feels that he has become a better person, teacher, everything because I opened his eyes to giving people an opportunity to succeed.The year was full of moments like that. Now, I am starting to question how I feel about him, It's like he slowly seduced me all year? I just don't know if these "feelings" between us are real? I graduated so I am no longer a student at school and I just don't know why all of a sudden, I find myself feeling this way. Its like as long as I was a student at the same school that he was my teacher I would never have even looked at him like that, but now, Its like things have changed, and I don't know what to think about the situation. He never bluntly asked me out or anything, but he did say at the end of the year that he did like me, and he hoped that any guy who dates me realizes how lucky they are. I will be 19 next February, and he will be 25 this August. I know all of this must sound pretty stupid, but I just wanted to see what others thought, because sometimes people get caught up and don't see things clearly, and I am starting to wonder if this is just my mind playing tricks on me, or if maybe something is there. I do know that teacher/Student relationships are usually frowned upon, so thats why I felt so unclear as to what I should do next. Do I test the waters with him, or just forget him all together? Its sort of like, my heart tells me one thing, but the reality of the way people think makes me feel like I have to think otherwise.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): So, ig you're 19 and you dont attend this guys school anymore, you can legally date him...just go see him at the school and be like hey, so, ive been thinking, i know how much fun we had lastyear, do u wanna go out sometime?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo...what do you guys think of this. I went to the school's first home game...and like everyone from the school went last weekend...it was a huge game because we were playing a school we have not played in years...so everyone was there..and I saw my teacher at a Football Game, and He told me, he (w/out the use of my real name to his students), he used my whole."Struggling at the start of the year.changed my attitude.ended up passing his class with an 'A'.or the as we call it.The " miracle story ".He was like."I used that in my First day of school speech that I gave all my classes." "I told them, no one can tell me they can't pass my class.because I know a girl out there that is living proof that it is possible." "so I just thought you should know, I was talking about you to all my classes the first day of school." and then he was messing with our cell phones.trying to take pictures of me and trying to figure out how to save pics. of himself on mine, etc.
But then earlier this week..I had to go in and pick up my cousin the other day..and she was getting help from a teacher so I was in the front office waiting..and..he came in the front doors from the parking lot and was like..Ohh Hi...what are you doing here and I told him I was picking up my cousin and he was like ohh..and then he walked into the office and when he came out, he was like " ohh..I have to stay away from you..." or something like that..I couldn't really make out what he said..but I was like..hmmm...thats wierd. Its like he throws so many mixed signals..I never know how to read him.
People tell me, maybe he is just tierd of me not responding to any of his advances. There like...you never really respond to anything he does to show you he cares. He has done lots of stuff and you dont seem to be so receptive. Maybe you two should sit and talk. But the truth is, I dont wanna mess up our friendship..like I want him as a friend and if things dont work out..I dont want things to get messed up. I dont know..I just he gives me mixed signals so I never feel confident enough to do anything...
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A
female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (9 September 2008):
 I think you should comment on the picture of you two... just saying that you noticed it and asking if he's going to decorate more later with other photos and personal things. It's kind of sweet that he did that. He obviously did it because he thought you would like it, or because he wanted to remember you (think about it, he put up the photo not knowing you would come back and see it), so it wasn't done with 'strange' intentions. It's not like he was going to lure you into seeing it or into his office or something weird... he just likes you.
Seriously, keep in touch through email or stop by to talk/see him from time to time. He's not that much older than you, so after a year, if you like him, he's yours. It's obvious that he's just waiting--I mean, he has made it pretty clear that he has romantic feelings for you.
Let us know how everything goes!! Feel free to private message me if you want to talk about it...
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo, I have an Update...I actually caught up with my teacher recently.. and it was at school and when he saw me, we talked for alittle about college starting and summer and stuff..and then he told me, 'hey..before you leave, you have to check out my office..you haven't been up there yet.' So, He went to class and I went up to see what he was talking about, and he had this little sign thing ( that I started as a joke with a couple of other teachers as well), Its all out of fun...but he had the sign that I had for his class last year framed, and then he had this pic. of us that I gave him at the end of the year, framed too. Like I said, the sign..I could see framed..cause most of the other teachers who I have done this with..framed their's too...haha..but the picture kinda shocked me...I was like...huh? .I was like..wow..really was not expecting that. Its like the only two things he has up too..like he doesn't have any other things up in his office yet. Part of me says, wow, thats nice of him, and then the other part is like...a little strange??? I just didn't see him as that "personal" of a person, I guess. I just dont know what to think...and I know it seems obvious that he has some sort of feelings for me, but I just dont know what I should do next...
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A
female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (4 July 2008):
I think you should keep in touch emailing, and then if you still are romantically interested, maybe ask him in a few months if he wants to meet for lunch one day to talk face-to-face.
Is he seeing someone? If he is, you shouldn't try to ask him out, but just keep it as friends until they split up. If he's not, then I'd say keep his interest until the teacher-student boundaries are far away and forgotten. I think it's best if you wait until September/October at the earliest to try to start something up. If you all could email, though, keeping in touch would be very helpful to your cause.
Also, if you give yourself some distance from him and just get to know him better, you can find out your real feelings for him more. You sound kind of confused at the moment, so I think you just need time to sort things out in your head....
...Hope that wasn't a total waste to read. Best of luck!
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male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (4 July 2008):
 As a teacher myself (although at the college level) I'd suggest that you give it some time ... at least a year ... before making any overt moves to get together with this man. After a year has passed, with you going about your life after school (college or whatever you have planned), if you still have feelings for him, try to find some way to reconnect with him socially OUTSIDE of school and see if the attraction is mutual. If it is, then there would be nothing wrong with your pursuing a relationship.
But it is REALLY important that there be that clear break between you as his student and you as a prospective partner. There has to be a separation in time, and the connection between the two of you has to be social and not associated with your student-teacher relationship. You can't just go back and meet him at school. It has to be some other venue, some other occasion, to maintain a sense of propriety.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Well, first of all, the age difference is really not much, compared to when I was in school. He is a young man...you are a young woman...women are usually more mature than men. Would you typically think of dating someone his age? I think he is interested in you but being a teacher he has a moral obligation to know his limits with students. It is wrong to date a student! We all know that; he is mature to not let things go any farther than a little flirting, but he could have gotten in trouble if you did not feel something towards him & reported him.
Now, you are out of school...enjoy your summer, meet other young men, see how it goes, you might meet someone you have more in common with & forget about him. If you can not stop thinking about him, ask yourself why you are attracted to him. Is it just because of the attention/flattery he gave you? Is there really anything to build a relationship on? Or do you just want to "get" with him? How would you go about getting in touch with him again? If you did date, would it have to be kept a secret? due to the fact that you WERE his student? Think about these questions before you do anything...it is really more HIS future career you have to consider, even if he doesn't.
Personally, I think it's not a good idea. I hope you can think about these things & make a decision you are comfortable with. Good Luck, sorry if I was of no help.
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