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I think my sister and my boyfriend have a thing behind my back

Tagged as: Family, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 June 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2012)
A female Australia age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and i have been seeing eachother for about a year, he is 21 and i am 16, i have a younger sister who is 14 i know it sounds young but i think they fancy each other. Everytime im with my sister and my boyfriend they dont talk and its very awkward but everytime i leave they are chatting just like he would with me. its driving me mad ! my sister and i were never close, to be honest i dislike her so much i want nothing to do with her ( previous stuff ), whenever me and him go out for a smoke she asks for one but shes not aloud to so i say no, she is soo annoying that she keeps asking so my boyfriend turns to me and says oh come on just one. Whenever me and her get into a fight he always chooses her side and tells me im as bad as her! The other night i was watching tv and i looked up at her and she was smiling at him and staring, he looked up and smiled and when he saw me gave me a half grin. She always asks him stupid questions that a 3 year old would know so he talks. This all started when me and him had an argument and i left for a walk with my dad for 4 hours, when i came back he was drinking with her there in his bedroom, she was laying right next to him and they were laughing. since then i havent trusted them together. Its as if im scared to leave then alone together, its really hurting me im always upset and im always wishing she would just vanish. I wouldnt be blaming my sister but the thing is hes never been the flirty type and then when he met my sister that changed! i asked him if he liked her but he always says " no, shes 14 why would i"? but i dont believe him, what should i do ? also whenever she walks around she always dresses like a skank, mini dresses skirt see through tops he always looks !!!! i dont wanna lose him but i cant take it anymore !! any advice?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2012):

I have some experience in this:

I was in the same situation but as the guy. My girlfriends sister (who was 18/19 at the time) & I didn't actually do anything together but we both wanted to. It was obvious to everyone that she had a crush on me & I would have loved nothing more then to bang her sexy little brains out! On top of that, we got on like a house on fire too and shared a lot of common interestes. (if only I'd met her first aye! lol).

At the end of the day though, there is no way that it could have happened without causing a LOT of pain to someone we both love and we were both smart enough to recognise that. So, we simply cut down the amount of time we were spending around each other and stopped chatting to each other online.

Your sister and your boyfriend probably aren't messing around but maybe they just like each other.

I can't say for her but I actually think I ended up developing strong feelings for my girlfriends sister which was really bad and hard to ignore but now I try to think of her as my own sister instead to make myself think more appropriately.

Incase you are wondering, I do love my girlfriend but it was different and it is very hard to explain as I don't fully understand it myself.

The best way to solve this IMO is to get closer with your sister and do more sisterly things. That will remind her of the bond between sisters and how much you mean to her. This alone will change the way she acts around your boyfriend as she'll respect your feelings more.

Even if my girlfriends sister had feelings for me and it was more than just lust, I know how much she loves her sister and know that she would have never gone through with an affair without causing herself a lot of pain too and so I would have ended up hurting my two favourite people!

Some things are better reserved for the spank bank and any trace of feelings can be used to inspire a nice fantasy for those special moments ;)

Everybody needs a fantasy. If you f**k your fantasy you'll just need to find another! That's what I tell myself when I see her anyway lol

Hope that helped!

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A female reader, mooh Australia +, writes (14 June 2012):

About the cigarette thing: I don't think that he should give your sister one as 1) it goes against your parents' rules and 2) it goes against what your wishes. I think that it just shows that he is not such a responsible young man. If you are having arguments about your sister and he sides for her, then there is probably something going on. Maybe your boyfriend has a thing for teens, Does he also act this way with other of your friends/relatives the same age?

If you think you both have a future together, then i would stop bringing him home when your sister is there.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (13 June 2012):

janniepeg agony auntDon't bring your boyfriend home anymore. You have to tell him that lying with each other is unacceptable. I would really question your boyfriend's maturity and judgment. He acts like he is not afraid of losing you. Your boyfriend likes the attention and your sister likes the idea of having a boyfriend and pissing you off. They feed each others' needs and like sneaking around behind you. You might have overestimated your boyfriend because of his age but sadly I don't know of any 21 year old who acts like this. Did your dad suggest you dump him already? After you tell him all this I think he would.

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