A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I hope someone can help as I'm feeling very confused!...I have been in a relationship for a bit over a year, all is going really well and I feel very much in love. However, I have a major problem with insecurity / trust / jealousy - and no matter how much I try to ignore these feelings they just won't go away (he has never given me any reason at all to doubt him by the way!)The problem is that I feel so insecure about our future together. He is an actor, and things are really starting to take off for him now - and although I'm so happy for him, it absolutely fills me with dread at the situations that puts him in, the lengths of time we will be apart (like at the moment he is away and out partying with all the cast!!), and the people he will meet, temptations etc etc!! He tries to reassure me, but it doesn't help at all - and I know I'm driving him away the more I show my distrust (so I'm trying not to say anything this time - although it's hard and it usually just results in me being moody and untalkative!)... I just feel so anxious about it, and I know I shouldn't worry about things before they actually happen... but is this just too much for me to deal with? would it be better to end it now and leave him free to get on with his career??? I really can't bear the thought of us not being together, and we get along so well that it seems a shame to just throw it all away - but I can't go on worrying all the time... what should I do??? Thanks for any positive advice anyone can offer x
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female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (21 November 2007):
 Perhaps your jealosies are being misplaced. What are you planning for your future? What do you want out of this relationship? Maybe you feel that he is going in a completetly different direction than you which makes it difficult on a relationship. If you want to stay with him, you need to talk to him and also think about how you can be happy in this relationship. For me, I would not be happy in that situation. Although I do like to go places, I would not want to be alone much of the time. Temporary is okay but this is a CAREER. You need to decide if that will be okay with you. People in your same situation either make sacrifices, learn to accept it, or are perfectly happy having seperate lives. I advise only doing this if you are content.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): 'put up and shut up' isnt going to work in this situation.
why do you think u have these insecurities? were u cheated on by an ex?
It sounds like the guy really loves you, just talk to him about it and why your insecure. I'm sure you'll work something out. =]
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