A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, basically this isn't a big issue, mainly minor but I wanted to ask if anyone had an idea of how to stop it. I've been with my Girlfriend for over a year now and we are both completely in love, since I've been at university, we've just got stronger and mature in our relationship. We both agreed that if we felt the same and ready, we'd engage after university. Now I'm not completely Naive, I know things can change but this isn't the problem in anyway.I'm really close to my mum and she's always been quite protective of me, Which I hated and liked haha. However she really likes my girlfriend but I think she has some jealousy issues. Every so often she drops comments about how "you won't be together forever" and yes I can see why she'd say that, however I think it's deeper than her just being protective of my interests. I told her to stop and she did but now she keeps dropping subtle hints every once in a while about it. She's also quite Jealous that I get on really really well with my GF's parents i.e. I've helped her dad out with jobs and I used to eat there 3 times a week and sleep over at the weekend. She started making comments about how money isn't everything and doesn't buy happiness (my gf's parents have more money than my family). My GF's parents were also together from when they were 19 till now and I think my mother is jealous of that too, as she has had a divorce and some engagements that broke up. (She's been in a loving marriage though for 9 years now. My mum buys stuff my gf and really likes her she says. I don't doubt it, I just don't like this jealous side of her!
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male
reader, DragonMan +, writes (31 January 2014):
 Greetings,
Mothers have a habit of not approving of anyone you choose to date, It is either possessive or protective, I do not know yet however what I do know is your Mother should respect your views and if you tell her how much you dislike it then if she refuses to accept that view that show her much it bothers you. Some people might consider her actions to be ones of wisdom/experience but I find that it is the seeds of doubt woven by those actions that help bring about separation.
Be true to yourself and your feelings.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): I think mothers being protective of their children is normal .. However I also think that you need to say something to your mother, if her comments on your gf are not warranted .. I've been with my hubby since I was 14 and that 25 years together haha we have three lovely gorgeous children . His mother was extremely jealous and yet I loved her .. She had many other good parts however if she thought she saw an opportunity to stir, she would .. It came to a head when she made scene in our house over nothing, I tried to rectify it and she then became hostile to me saying mean and nasty things that were not true . My husband ( her son ) had enough so he had a long discussion with his mother I wasn't present . But he banned her from our home . It gutted me not having the kids see her but I left it a while and then she rung we made up at the end if the day she loved her gran children .. And they her and she was a lovely granny ( just jealous ) I still to this day don't know why I warranted such hostility and rubbish but I don't fret over it .. My husband did his part by saying to his mother .. I think if you feel that mummy's being unjust to your gf then you need to say something .. Doesn't have to be nasty .. Like mum that's uncalled for .. You know ?? Isn't like that etc . You need to make the stand . Or by George it will get worse ..So take care and she may be older and wiser but jealous tends to cloud ones vision of people .. So try to be fair and if your gf isn't being nice then check her up on it to this goes both ways ..
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (31 January 2014):
Your mom has many years of experience under those gray hairs, and maybe she sees something in your girlfriend she does not like. Something you do not see because you are so infatuated with her. Take advice from those older and wiser than you, it may save you a lot of heartaches down the road.
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A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (30 January 2014):
Moms being wary/jealous of girlfriends is a story as old as time. Think its bad now, just wait until you get married.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2014): Your mum sounds like she is afraid of losing you, you said shes protective.You are her son and now you have a gf, and she feels left out. Try to spend some time with your mum, so she doesn't feel left out of you life, don't just see yr gfs parents.ie: dinner just the two of you, at home or somewhere casual out, watching a dvd or favorite tv programmme together, going somewhere, for a walk or to a sporting or other event etc etcReassure her that you care about her , shes your mum and of course you aren't going to shut her out of your life. This jealousy of hers is her own insecurity and fear of letting you go.It will eventually cause problems with you and yr gf and yr gf and yr mum, esp if your mum starts to become nasty to yr gf, which she might do, even if she is Ok now.if yr r/ship is destined for long term that's great, time will tell. Its not for yr mum to be negative.. what happens happens.. Yr mum needs to know she is loved by you, don't shut her out for yr gf and her family, let you mum know it hurts yr feelings to hear her be jealous, and it would hurt yr gfs.. she being overprotective and needs to let go. good luckI hope yr gf is nice to yr mum and says hi to her etc etc
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