A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I caught my husband of 21 years hiding text messages and phone calls from another woman always had his phone on silent or vibrate and never left it laying around texted in the middle of the nigh while I was asleep even while I was taking a shower. At the time this was going on she was going thru a divorce when I confronted him he told me she needed someone to talk to about her divorce and problems with he kids which I did not believe. Have asked for the truth several times and he wont tell me and always has a different answer he told me that if I were doing that it would not bother him which leads me to think he doesn't want to be togeather anymore but when I asked if he wanted a divorce he always tell me no and that he loves me. I have ask what they talked about he always says he doesn't remember or just talking. He told me to never bring it up again that nothing was going on. I don't think he is still talking to her anymore. But I cant get past what has happened and don't believe him at all. Don't know what to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2011): I understand how you feel and I would be angry too. I think your husband had an emotional affair. I think he is too embarrassed to talk about this with you and just wants to forget the whole thing because he now realises how stupid he has been. Desperate lonely woman in need of support finds willing man to 'get her through' the tough divorce and then when she feels better she moves onto pastures new. I would imagine he feels a bit stupid. None the less he has betrayed you and needs to be honest with you. If he won't discuss it then you have two choices: forget it in the knowledge it's over (but bear in mind that he was receptive to her advances and this will rear it's ugly head again) or leave. You deserve better treatment than this and shouldn't feel insecure for the rest of your relationship, which you will do unless you discuss the underpinning reasons for the emotional affair and resolve them.Good luck and remember you deserve better!
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 May 2011):
 You're right to be suspicious, that sounds totally inappropriate. I guarantee you that he wouldn't be OK with you sneaking around texting men going through a "tough divorce." If there was nothing going on he wouldn't get angry at you for asking about it and he wouldn't be sneaking around about it, he'd be open. Further, it's sounds like a very excessive amount to be texting a married woman to the point of an emotional affair even if he's not cheating. Unfortunately either you need to get him to be honest and find the whole truth out (whether it was just the beginnings of an emotional affair or a physical affair) or it may be time to leave.
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