A
female
age
26-29,
*lightlyLost
writes:I need some help please. There is a guy that I am quite friendly with, (to be perfectly honest it is more of a pity based friendship on my part - I feel sorry for him) and he has dropped several hints that he LIKES me and has even mentioned the word love. How do I gently dissuade him from forming any stronger feelings for me? I've already made it clear that I am not looking for Love as I am focusing on my studies and see him as a brother almost. He hasn't got many close friends and I am worried about his mental health. Thanks x Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (8 May 2011):
 Be honest with him, and do it quickly. Don't hesitate, don't water it down, just tell him you're not attracted to him. Think of it like removing a band-aid. He'll hurt at the moment, maybe even get mad and walk away, but in the long run it will hurt much less than pining over you for months. Letting him keep thinking he has a shot would be cruel.
If you really want to make it up to him, encourage him to develop more assertive, attractive behaviors, then introduce him to your female friends.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2011): You can't control his feelings, just make sure you don't give him any signs that you like him any more than a friend and if you are only a friend out of pity, then he would be better off without it in the long run.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 May 2011):
 The only thing that you can do is be completely honest with him and tell him nothing is ever going to happen between the both of you and that he is your friend but he will never be anything more than that. I know it can be a hard thing to do but you need to put him completely straight so that he knows where he stands.
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