A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I have this friend, he's my best "guy friend", who means a lot to me. We have always gotten along perfectly. A year ago, I realized I liked him as more than a friend, and I thought, and still think about him every single day. Recently though, I found out he likes my sister, and it's mutual. I had seen it coming, and I am happy for them, how can I not be when I see their smiling faces? Still, I can't help but feel a bit sorry for myself. I'm worried our relationship is going to change, and that he'll always think of her, and rather want to be with her when he sees me. The thought of falling in love with someone else seems strange to me. No one gets me like he does, no one gets my humour, lifts my mood the way he does. What can I do to get over him? I'm having a hard time acting normal around them. I feel like getting into a coma for a while, just to get my mind off things. Any suggestive distractions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, idoneitagain +, writes (9 May 2011):
I agree with aunt honesty, it is a good idea to tell them both how you feel. I would tell them both that you are happy for them too, but it is good to let them know how you feel because it will help you process your feelings, and help you have close honest relationships with both of them. They are both important people in your life, and having this kind of difficult conversation with people you are close with is part of stepping into adulthood, and becoming emotionally mature. You can't tell how they will respond, but that is not as important as you expressing your feelings. If you do that, and give them the space to express their feelings, your relationships, and how you feel emotionally about things, will be better.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (8 May 2011):
I honestly think the best thing you can do is be honest with yourself. You wont be able to get over him if you see him all the time and if he is your friend. So I honestly think that the best thing you can do is to tell him the truth and also tell your sister the truth. However hard it may be you cannot help how you feel and it is time to be honest with them. At least then when it is all out in the open maybe you can start to move on.
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