A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I been with my husband for 4 years and married for 2 years. Everything was amazing till we had a baby together. He is helpful and great in every way but we don't spend time together like we use too. Now I'm a full time mum and he comes home late. I wake up early with my toddler and also sleep early as I'm always on the go. As I don't go out like before so my friends they come over to keep me company. Now my husband goes and see his friends after work and comes back late. When I confronted him he said that I'm always sleeping whenever he's around. I'm so sad and I feel like I failed as a wife as I think he sees me as boring woman. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 December 2015):
 I am glad that he is helpful with you, I can also understand why he would go and visit his friends if you are sleeping, however if this is every single night then maybe suggest to him that he has an early night as well from time to time and get up with you and your baby early in the morning.
It is a tough task being parents, am sure he does not think you are boring. Allow him to look after your child and you have a day to yourself, am sure after a couple of times of doing this he will see just how much you have to deal with.
Do activities as a family sure, but even if you cannot get a babysitter to watch your child there are other ways to spice things up. Make a habit of once a week having a romantic dinner (maybe even a takeaway) just enjoy each others company.
You shouldn't be feeling sad, as am sure you are a great wife and mother. Its just the way life becomes after children. We just need to make the most of it. If you are feeling worried then talk it over with your husband and see what he thinks. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 December 2015):
 Get a babysitter once a week and have a "date-night" - just you and him. Go out to dinner, a movie, something.
I don't think you have failed as a wife. Your priorities have shifted. Being a full time mom is a big job, add on all the house work etc.. I think it's pretty natural that you are tired after a long day of that.
I would also suggest that you have 1-2 ME-TIME "dates" with yourself a month. Every other Saturday HE can watch the little one and YOU go out for a few hours, museums, lunch with friends, getting a haircut... Something.
Kids do become the "sun" and us parents revolve around them, usually the moms more than the dads. But that doesn't mean we moms must give up EVERYTHING we used to be and like.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2015): Get a sitter and make time for yourselves. Go out together. Do things together. This problem will not go away it will only get bigger.
Why does he go out alone all the time? You do not have to stay in every night. Do not confront him with anything, ask for help. Explain that you do not wish to be someone you are right now.
You said you shared responsibilities.... Is it really so? From what you said you carry all the weight and he goes out and has the nerve to agree when you say that you failed him as a wife.
It seems to me that your life has changed since the baby came and his not so much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2015): It's not your job to keep him interested and entertained all the time, you haven't done anything wrong. If he's gotten bored so easily then he should have thought about what he was getting into when he agreed to getting married and having children in the first place. He needs to behave like an adult, help out more and not spend most of his evenings out with his friends.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2015): He didn't say you were boring because of it, it's just that he may feel a bit lonely as he never sees you when he gets in.
But he can't just expect to go out with his friends until late all the time, that's not fair. He has a child now and he should grow up and realise that he's not a lad any more and free to just do what he likes. He has responsibilities.
Why don't you have your friends and his friends come over in the evening instead to have a meal or something? Could you get a babysitter so you could have date nights together?
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