A
female
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anonymous
writes:Okay so my husband's family is always bugging him to get on Facebook. I don't much care to be listed there and have been hesitant for him to sign up because I know his ex-girlfriends will cause problems for us. Plus I think he'll contact them (out of curiousity of course). Yes I have trust issues because he's been caught doing questionable things during our relationship and although I have tried to forgive him, I know he can't be trusted with some things and some people. So I signed him up for an account but I tied it to my email address and for the picture I put one of both of us so it's kind of like "our account". But I don't feel comfortable letting him log on and surf because I just think it's going to create alot of drama in our marriage. I told him I'd log him on anytime he wants to chat with his family, in fact I did tonight and he said he doesn't have the patience or the time to screw with it. Then he said he should be able to have his own acct. Which is true in most cases, but if he really just wanted to chat with his family, why isn't this arrangement good enough? I had to remind him of some previous screw ups he's done when I trusted him before and told him this way I can at least be aware of who is contacting him, and it will put my mind at ease. I think it's only fair. Plus I'm not gonna be cruising on any guys, because the acct is in his name. It keeps us both honest! Wouldn't you agree?.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your answers. To male anon #1 The answer to your question: "Unless he has been caught at least once you need to let him." The answer is YES. Some chick contacted him through a similar mode, and they started "flirting" (harmless enough, right?) but the next thing I know, he tells her when he's going to be in her city for a meeting and gave her the name of his hotel. To Male Anon.#2 "Face book is known to screw up marriages and relationships.If you have caught him on it with the intention of cheating,then that would be very understandable. "......The answer is YES again. Granted we weren't yet married, but it left a scar on my emotions. To Female Anon: "Would you like to be treated with the same distrust? The answer is, I wouldn't mind a bit. If I have nothing to hide, no big deal in my opinion. Especially if I knew I'd screwed up more than once when tempted. And lastely to Olderthandirt "don't "get" facebook,myspace or twitter..It all seems like mindless sniping or gossip" I ompletely AGREE! Which is why I wasn't interested in either of us being listed in this account. But I was pressured into and I found a compromise. Sorry but I stand firm.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): I think you mean you will create the drama. In case it has slipped through your thoughts, REMINDER:HE IS A GROWN MAN NOT A CHILD.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): Face book is known to screw up marriages and relationships. So is your type of behaviour. If you have caught him on it with the intention of cheating,then that would be very understandable. You are treating him in a way which has far more chance of causing you to break up than face book has. Unless he has been caught at least once you need to let him. I will also mention that i was once with someone I caught several times on dating sites. It never entered my thoughts until I saw it. The same person before that used to be just like you are now. It makes me wonder about you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): Facebook and the internet can sort out the good from the bad,and its better finding out the one who says they love you is full of shit sooner rather than later. If he wants to cheat on you it will happen with or without facebook. You are treating him like a little child,logging him on and off. Would you like to be treated with the same distrust? If you find him on dating sites,secret profiles,emails etc then okay. At this point you are frightened of his ex`s and you will end up driving him to seek comfort and eventually his reins will break. We all have fears but you are going too far. He is a grown man. You would either be better with someone you trust. He is a human being. Have you got some experience of internet cheating of your own? By the way you are behaving makes me think you have. This reaction i saw off my ex and thought weird,it soon became clear why some assume everyone is there to cheat. Because thats what they do on it. That is why he`as an ex. You need to stop because you are embarrassing yourself.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 I don't "get" facebook,myspace or twitter..It all seems like mindless sniping or gossip.
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