A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been online dating this guy for a few years now (we haven't met yet but we plan on it).Anyways i think i'm being insecure (even though i never have been insecure about anything in my life other than my looks). But i have this gut feeling that he is cheating on me. But like i said i could be insecure and he could just very well be doing what he says he is doing. But some times he doesn't give an answer as to why he is gone for long periods of time, usually he tells me (i don't ask b/c i'm not that type of person) but anyways he usually tells me where he went to etc etc etc even thought i told him this one time he doesn't need to tell me where he is going all the time.But anyways he goes for long periods of time when we're talking about something and when he does come back he goes "huh" as if he doesn't know what we were talking about. Secondly he'll say "brb" and when he does come back its an hour or 2 later. Thirdly (i know this sounds very stupid and you'll think i want the attetion but just so you know its not the case. I think its b/c i'm use to it) but anyways he use to be so attetive (if that's how u spell it) always talking, always messaging me first (i never messages him first) now its me who has to be the one who starts up the convo and when i do it feels like i'm bugging him or he doesn't want to talk to me or something.Also i like to add that i broke it off b/c we "disagreed" on lots of things and he resulted in us fighting (over the net no dubot. stupid i know). We got back together after a few days apart, things were going fine until today. Today he is starting up the leaving for long periodsof time, not really wanting to talk etc etc.So am i being stupid and insecure? Or should i follow the feeling in my gut that won't go away? (before anyone says that i should ask if he is cheating, i can't b/c he will deny it. And also it was brought up by HIM that he would never cheat, nor would he ever).So a little help is needed please and thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): You've never met each other? You can't really say someone you never met is cheating on you? I think it goes without saying his main agenda is seeing other girls and you are his online pick-me-up when he's not seeing another girl..a few years is a very long time for you to spend in such a pretend scenario with no results...no dates with him.
Where you hurt in the past that you are too scared to try a relationship now? If you meet someone online for dating purposes, they are only interested in dating you if they want to meet you right away and take you on a date to see if something is there or not. If he's not taking you out, then he's taking others out.
Guys don't give up sex or other opportunities for years over someone they've never met and chat online to...and niether should you.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 That's the tricky thing about LDRs, and online relationships. You really don't know this guy and thus have to give him the benefit of the doubt otherwise you will drive yourself crazy thinking he's cheating on you. Although you have no evidence he's cheating on you and can't prove whether he is or not. In order for any relationship period to work there has to be trust, in which you don't have in him. (especially online relationships, or LDRs)
What you're going to have to do is either go with your gut feeling and seeing as you have no trust in him, then it's time to break this relationship off for good. It just doesn't seem to be working out. Or if that's not an option, you tell yourself you have no evidence he's cheating and put aside your trust issues to make this relationship work.
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