A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HI, am confused..what to do... am in a relationship wid a girl from past 2 years, we both had a past and we broke up wid our exs respectively. Me coz she had to go abroad to US to make her career and she(my current GF) coz her parents didnt approve of the match.and we mutually decided that we wont be in contact with our ex. after da few months in da relationship when I tried kissing she called me by her ex name and I was pissed off... She promised me that she is not in contact wid him any more and he is out of her life.. and I trusted her.. but after a few months her X got engaged, I was happy. But he broke up da engagement coz he couldnt forget her.. She told me about it and she promiced me that she doesn't feel da same about him any more and wants to be with me.. after few days of this incident she again started chatting and calling her ex's and they became very good friends.. initially she would tell me but I would get pissed off and den later she started hiding it from me. We alwasy would fight because of this.. coz some how i would see her eX messages in her cell phone..I told her if she wants to be with him she can go back.. but she is like she is committed to me...later she confessed that she would talk to him every alternate days..he helps her find her a Job coz he has contacts in da corporate circle and helps her publish her articles in local newspapers. I was really pissed off and I asked her to stop all this or else I am out of her life..She stopped this for few days and den she started this again. She would again talk to her ex boyfriend every alternate days. he would sent her flowers when she is not well.. she even went ahead and told her EX that we(me and her) had broken up and I sufforcate her by asking her not to talk to him and other guy friends. I never had problem her talking to her guy friends, but al her guy(3-4) friends are either chat friends or some liberary friends.. whom she chats and talks over the phone every day for couple of hrs. some time even avoiding my calls. They all labeled me as Pshyco..lol. I would have never come to know about all this... it was once when she shared her email password with me and to prove me that she is not in contact wid her ex boyfriend she skimmed a plan with him.. she wrote a mail to him stating '' its the end of the road between us(she and her EX boyfriend) and he should not contact her..on the other hand asked her ex to reply stating that he is fine in not being in touch with her. Den later she made a new Id to chat with him.. and was in contact with him..Some how i came to know about her new id and unfortunately for her the password was the same..I tried and logging in and was succesfully. there were emails about both intending to meet each other and few enails where in my girlfriend has signed as "Love u" and all...I was so pissed off and In anger I called her ex boyfriend and he confirmed the facts...I had a bad fight with her and now she is like she wants to be with me and only me and not with any one else... Just a brief note I never had issues with her having guy friends and her going out wid them.. For example one of her office mate was away for 15 days she spoke to him for approx 75hrs when he was away..but I get angry when they call her or she calls dem every day and talk for Hrs every day and where in she maintain da satatus of available in front of them.. and she hides the conversations from me. Please advice..
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe issue is that I love her and dont know why...but am feeling scared to go ahead in this relationship...I am in a situation where in neither am I able to leave her nor am I able to forget what has happened in the past. THis time again she has promiced me that she wount be doing such things again...and I have stopped snooping on her.. ie her mail ids and her phone.. I have chosen to trust her... but am scared to be betrayed or to be un-infomerd about such events happening.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe issue is that I love her and dont know why...but am feeling scared to go ahead in this relationship...I am in a situation where in neither am I able to leave her nor am I able to forget what has happened in the past. THis time again she has promiced me that she wount be doing such things again...and I have stopped snooping on her.. ie her mail ids and her phone.. I have chosen to trust her... but am scared to be betrayed or to be un-infomerd about such events happening.
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A
male
reader, welsh  +, writes (14 June 2010):
End it my friend. And if she wants you, let her put the effort. Sorry to say this but she seems very much into her ex still. And you seem to have given her quite a few chances. As an aside, avoid snooping on your future GF's emails and messages.
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A
female
reader, coffeebeans  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Hi
and let me add... she is completely not interested in you. So, dump her, as soon as you can! You deserve better! Definitely!
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A
female
reader, coffeebeans +, writes (14 June 2010):
Your current girlfriend is clearly in love with her ex boyfriend and I think that just because her parents disapproved, she should not have broken up with her ex. In stead she should have tried to make them see.
Anyway, that was in the past. Now in the present, she is more mature, more independent and in a better frame of mind to take decisions and to me it is clear that she wants her ex boyfriend.
You should end this and part with dignity and good grace. The sooner the better. You can't force someone to be with you, or love you. I am sure that you understand this.
So... I know that it sucks and you need to think of the future. You deserve to be loved. Move on, find some one who loves you only.
Good luck and ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
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