A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm a straight man, 21, but I think that my gay boss (24) fancies me. Even though he has said in the past that he doesn't believe in relationships between work collegues I think he's showing signs that suggest otherwise throughout the last few weeks between eye contact and touching me arm etc. Most recently at work which is a retail shop by the way, I was taking over his shift at 4:15pm and he said he would leave at 5pm as normal but would have to come back to do some work when I close the shop at 8pm. But instead he stayed the whole time chatting to me at the till that we forgot to close the shop until 8:15pm. There is a slide out shelf that sticks out the till and he sat on it, facing me and quite close to me as well. Whilst we were talking, he would give long looks at my eyes, continually having a slightly cheeky smile on his face, he kept dangling his right leg close to mine and kept moving one of his hands and fingers up his thigh whislt looking at me. This went on for ages. Throughout the evening, we were the only staff on and we had hardly any customers and so we wer bored, so i wud walk around the shop and everytime he followed me and talk to me. Other times he's stared and smiled slightly flirtatiously/cheekily whilst i talk into the shop. Theres often a real look of pleasure on his face when I arrive at work and always makes a point of when he'll see me again at work. It does makes me feel unconfortable, I find it hard to believe I'm imagining it, what do you think?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): I had an encounter similar to this when I was 18 and working for best buy. I worked in the warehouse and my supervisor was openly gay. At that point, I had experimented with a guy when I was in 5th-6th grade but nothing else. My supervisor hit on me all the time. He would pat me on the ass, pat my cock, hint that he wanted me to come home with him...and each time I would just let it slide. Everyone knew that my sup was just that kind of person.
I was curious and wanted to try it, but was afraid that he would tell everyone what we did after we did it so I kept telling him I wasn't like that. Well, one day would give me a reason to go through with it. I live in a different county from the store and it's separated by a river. I had to drive over a bridge every day. Well, a barge hit the bridge and it was closed for the night until they could be certain it was safe to drive over. He invited me to stay at his house for the night.
I knew that if I said yes, we would have sex. I didn't have a choice. I said yes and after we were done I went to his house with him. He didn't try anything at first. Then he said, "I've been wanting to do something, but don't want to get punched." I knew what he was gonna do. I said, "Just go ahead and do it." He went down on me. It was everything I had hoped it would be. I loved it. When he invited me to go to bed with him I happily agreed. It was the most erotic night of my life (even 10 years later still haven't had a night like it).
Up until that night I considered myself straight. After that I questioned my sexuality and i'm now gay. That night with my supervisor will forever be in my memories.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): If you have no emotional feelings, for him, ignore his body language. Remain professional. Treat it as a compliment but remind him you are, not interested, thank you.
Experience shows that such involvement never works out on a professional level as it alters the status quo!
Enjoy the friendship no doubt you will find some else
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): I think so. But its not really an issue is it?! If he comes onto you just say no. You don't want it.
If you do thats a entirely different matter altogether.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Yeah mate, I think we can take that as a given.
So do something about it if it makes you uncomfortable, you have a right not to work in an environment where you think sexually suggestive comments are being thrown at you.
You dont have to be rude though, as Diovan says tell him nicely that you only think of him as a friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx a lot, but does it honestly look like he's attracted to me/flirting with me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): We can't you do what I tell the girls to do. Just say very politely that you may have given the wrong impression but you are not interested. Tell him you like him as a friend and respect him as your boss and that's the end of that. I'm frightened if you don't nip in the bud, he might think your interested and make a fool of himself by making an inappropriate proposal to you.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (9 July 2008):
If it makes you feel uncomfortable simply tell him it does, but I understand that can be hard for a young bloke to do.
Or start talking about girls and girls you fancy.
I don't think there is much harm in it to tell the truth, but most gay guys I know have a radar ( well, that's what they tell me anyway) and don't hit on straight guys. Basically they see it as a waste of time. It looks like your boy's radar is way off.
I can empathise with you though, as a gay colleague hit on me when drunk at a staff party when I was 18.. It was most distressing ( these days I would laugh my arse off and tell him to "stop being a tart") as I was just a young lad, and he did put his hand on my leg and ask "are you horny"; he was driving me home late at night , and he was my boss!
So I can understand how upsetting it can be, but I don't think your situation has got to the stage where he is getting too physical.
I still think that you should talk about girls, bring them up in conversation, say how hot you think Scarlett Johannsen is or the young Sofia Loren ( my favourite lady!). He'll get the message. Don't whistle along to Kylie Minogue thought, you dont want to send off the wrong signals!:)
Even better if you've got a girlfriend, invite her in to the store. That will kill it off.
good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): I don't think your imaginging it but as UncleSneaker said, its only really a issue if he tries it on with you.
And even then all you have to say is no. Until then just grin and bare it. I'd try and turn it on the humourous site but thats just me.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (9 July 2008):
 It doesn't have to be a problem, does it? So he (probably) finds you attractive, just like a million straight bosss find one or more of their female staff attractive. It only becomes a problem if you make it a problem or if he "tries it on" - and then you just say no thanks you're not interested, assuming you aren't interested.
Take it as a compliment. At the very least he likes you, and it's never a bad thing for someone to like you.
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