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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This is going to sound really, really stupid, but I've recently developed a huge crush on an older Austrian actor... guess who?I don't actually find him that attractive per se, it's more that I like his voice, his films, his one-liners etc. and from watching interviews I find him really sweet/funny in real life as well as interesting and charismatic as a person.I would like advice on how to get over this.It's making me feel bad because a) I'm starting to feel like I'm annoying people by talking about him and his films constantly and going crazy if they say anything bad about him (lol!) b) Because it's making me depressed that I will probably never know him and he doesn't even know I exist and c) More importantly, because I am in a relationship with someone else. The situation is complicated and I can't really elaborate, but I feel like I'm betraying them with this infatuation. It doesn't help that I'm naturally an obsessive kind of person and I find it hard to do things by halves. I feel extremely bad about this and how other people will perceive it, not to mention I have spend the last week or so obsessively watching his interviews/films and reading articles about him to the extent that I find it hard to focus properly on anything else.I'm concerned that this is getting out of control and I feel kind of stupid about it. Any ideas how to stop feeling this way/get my interest in him back to a more normal level?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2013): (Original poster, now with an account.)
Thanks for the advice guys. :-) It was nice of you to respond. If it's okay I would like to close the question to further responses, given (though I deliberately did not make it clear initially) it has become clear to me that a dating advice website probably isn't the best place to search for advice on my problems, due to the atypical nature of them, at least in terms of reasoning and other factors involved. I mean I confuse mental health professionals so I really have no idea why I was asking for advice (even on something that, at face value, is trivial) on a website where people are most likely not qualified to help . But oh well. I was just having a slightly strange day I guess. O_o
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): Thanks for the advice guys. To be honest, my life spiraled out of control long ago i.e. before my obsession with Arnold started. I was asking more just for advice on how to neutralise the feelings because it's just adding to the problems that are already there and making it harder to deal with them."As long as your life isn't spiraling out of control and you're not huddling in the closet with 100 candles and a makeshift shrine re-enacting the "It's NOT a tumor" scene from Kindergarten Cop and wearing fake teeth with that slight Arnold gap in them." - Well, I don't know how to say this but I have spent the last few days huddled actually in a small room (no candles because they scare me) with a large stack of Arnold DVDs, memorabilia (t-shirts etc.) and talking to myself/reciting his quotes in an Austrian accent. I don't have fake gap teeth (great idea though) however I was looking for screen-used props on eBay and attempting to find 2000 dollars (God knows how) so that I could buy the gloves he wore in Terminator 2.Yep, I'm a certified nutjob. D:As for Michael Biehn, I used to have a slight crush on him too. XD (Pre-Arnold.)I might also add I had a mental breakdown and started crying when I did go out the other day because a DVD store didn't have the original Total Recall (only the Colin Farrell remake) and ended up disposing of my bank cards and going slightly crazy, before becoming hysterical after my mother compared Twins to Total Recall and starting to cry again...
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reader, YouWish  +, writes (12 June 2013):
 Oh geeze, I had a *massive* crush on Michael Biehn from Terminator. Then I realized he most likely had never taken a shower or brushed his teeth. I am weird when it comes to that stuff. Every time I see a morning "just waking up" kiss or lovemaking scene, all I can think of is "EWWW morning breath!".
Seriously, you're on antidepressants. As long as your life isn't spiraling out of control and you're not huddling in the closet with 100 candles and a makeshift shrine re-enacting the "It's NOT a tumor" scene from Kindergarten Cop and wearing fake teeth with that slight Arnold gap in them. There are already hundreds of Elvis impersonators out there!
Go easy on yourself! Keep talking to the doctor who's prescribing the medicine to you, and consider what you want to do with your life. I.e. your future! Maybe your admiration for Schwarzenegger will inspire you to do great thing in your life! Who knows? Maybe governor of California in 30 years?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): Anonymous, yeah I know. D; Tbh though it doesn't really bother me given the nature of my interest in him... if anything it just gives me hope. Lol. XDEspecially given he said he was looking for a 20-year=-old honey. Okay... stop... this is unhealthy.And yeah I love Predator. :-D Hell, I have get to da choppa as my ringtone! Although I prefer Terminator and Alien (no Arnold though) in that order.I "discovered" him a while ago, it just didn't become a big thing until recently i.e. thinking about him/watching his movies 24/7. Terminator is one of my favourite films anyway so yeah although when I first watched it I preferred Kyle Reese in that sense!I'm already on antidepressants. :-/ And I suppose I'm more concerned about how other people will perceive it etc. - a lot of the "problem" is in my head.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): If its Arnold Schwarzenegger, remind yourself that he cheated on his wife, fathered an illegitimate child with their housekeeper who continued working for them and it wasn't until the kid was like 13 or something that he confessed to his wife and only because he got caught.
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reader, YouWish +, writes (11 June 2013):
Arnold Schwarzenegger or Maximilian Schell?
I'm guessing the former, eh?
Everyone was into Arnold in the 80's and 90's. Bodybuilder, Terminator, "Get to da CHOPPA!!!!" Predator?
Don't worry, it'll work its way through your system, and unless you're stalking him, breaking into his house, or this fascination is messing with your life, then just be patient!
If you're 18-21, That means you were born 1992-1995, a year after T2 was made. In a sense, you're discovering him the way many people who watched all of his movies when they came out did. Many people were into him, judging by the massive box office draw he was, so you're in good company, albeit older company!
As for being upset that other people pick on him (Admit it! In Commando, he was the king of cheesy lines with "Let off some steam, BENNETT!"), just smile, because you like his style. Don't take what they say personally!
As far as you being in a relationship with someone else, don't sweat it either! As long as you know the difference between harmless celebrity fantasy and reality, you're fine! How many guys with girlfriends back in the 90's didn't fantasize about Pam Anderson, Trish Stratus, Carrie Underwood, or Olivia Wilde?? And likewise, Brad Pitt, I'm sure Henry Cavill will soon join the ranks, and George Clooney make a nice daydreaming break from reality for many women in relationships. In your case, sounds like your daydream is Arnold! As long as you don't dress up like Jamie Lee Curtis and act out the hooker scene in True Lies in the middle of class, go easy on yourself!
Don't feel depressed! But, if you feel like your obsession/depression is out of hand, talk to someone. If you're really in distress, talk to a doctor or therapist, because that could be a symptom of chemical imbalance. One former co-worker of mine went off the deep end and watched Dances With Wolves over and over and over again after surgery. It started getting bad until she saw a doctor, did a round of anti-depressants, took up kickboxing, and felt loads better. It was a symptom of helplessness for her situation.
You know, you could take up bodybuilding, which would be a really healthy expression of appreciation! How many boxers in real life credit Rocky, and the number of people in the US who joined the Navy after seeing Top Gun spiked so dramatically, that they actually set up recruiting stations in the movie theater for a couple of weeks while it was out.
Go easy on yourself! Turn that fascination into something positive in your life!
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