A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel really horrible, I have the feeling my cousins crush likes me, shes always complimenting me and I dont know what to do, I never compliment her back because shes my cousins crush and I grew up with my cousin were really close, but the thing is I really like talking to her because its not a boring conversation and we talk for hours. I have no interest in her and I have a hard time making friends because Im shy, is there a way I could let it slip that I dont want relationship without seeming really mean? I don't want to hurt my cousin and I want to keep a new friend. I mean everytime we talk she says how Im cute, or I should be a model how kissing is her favorite thing to do, its very uncomfortable for me, like today I message by accident and she was talking to me for awhile but then was hanging out with my cousin and didnt reply and then lied about walking her dog. I feel so horrible how can i fix this?
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female
reader, JDiva4Kominos  +, writes (24 May 2011):
The handling of a heart is a very delicate art. This is especially true in this situation because there are three. Honesty can be hard but it could be the only way to have everyone on the same page. Honesty with yourself, your cousin, and her crush will set all confusions aside. With a clear mind you will be able to make clear decisions that will impact your future. First, you want to start off by being honest. Although the truth might hurt it is always best to tell her how you really feel. Let her know that she makes you feel uncomfortable. For example: tell her she makes you feel uncomfortable when she tells you certain things. Next, it would make it easier to tell your cousin how her crush has been making you feel. Make it known that you still want to be friends and nothing more. Friend's come and go if she cannot accept you as a friend then you don't want someone like that in your life .I understand that you’re a shy girl but that shouldn't be a reason to keep a friend in your life that makes you feel uncomfortable. Certainly, sometimes there are some attitudes and compliments from our friends and close relatives that many times make us feel uncomfortable. First of all, it is very important to talk to your cousin about how you feel when she complements you. Then, ask yourself how much your cousin’s crush has affected you; she might ignore what her crush has been saying to you. As the years pass, we create an unbreakable bond with many members of our family, but it is really important to find the right way to explain your cousin that you do not like when she eulogizes you. Furthermore, it is really necessary to express how we feel when something is bothering us. For example, if you feel annoyed by the way your cousin's crush admires you, tell her you only like her as a friend. Moreover, tell her that her compliments make you to feel very incommodious. Also, tell your cousin that if she does not try to stop you will break your friendship. In addition, be sincere with her, but at the same time be really clear and leave no doubt, and let her know that you really care about her. Friends can improve your life and enrich your health when you have healthy relationships with them. According to Mayo Clinic Adult Health, “Good friends are good for your health. Friends can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. Friends prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship,too.” What kind of friendship do you want to have with your cousin’s crush? Whatever your choice is make sure it’s one that is going to be beneficial to you. I know that you said being shy is one reason why you don’t want to lose the friendship but there are ways for you to make new friends. For example, you can volunteer and offer your time or talents at a hospital, community center, charitable group or other organization. You can form strong connections when you work with people who have mutual interests. Overall remember to stay positive. Mayo Clinic Adult Health also states that, “You might not make friends with everyone you meet, but maintaining a friendly attitude and demeanor can help you improve the relationships in your life.” To solve your problem isn’t so hard. It only requires a little bit of self-sacrifice and not be scared of your cousin’s reaction. But as you are honest with her and show to her that your bond with her is important to you she will respect you for at least being honest and not doing something behind her back. Remember that a lie may take care of the present, but it has no future. Just be honest with your cousin and express yourself you might find out things about the situation you never would have imagined before.
A
female
reader, x..BabyGirl..x  +, writes (17 May 2011):
 Firstly, you need to tell your cousin what her crush has been saying to you. Show her proof or she may feel that you're trying to come between them. Then you need to tell the girl that you like her and you want to be friends, but nothing more than that. Tell her you really like her company but her flirting makes you feel uncomfortable and you'd like it to stop. You are not in the wrong but you need to be completely honest with your cousin first because at the end of all of this, she'll still be your family. The other girl won't be.
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