A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think my boyfriend might have been sexually abused. In the past, he had a relationship with another guy but that's not my issue.. We also recently wanted to further our relationship and have sex but he was unable to keep an erection... He's an extremely shy and withdrawn boy and struggles to communicate.. I don't know how to approach my concern with this issue.. His dad is also a real social hermit and I'm afraid he might be the culprit.. I've read that his symptoms are all symptoms of sexual abuse. Please help.. Was my boyfriend sexually abused?
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female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady  +, writes (28 July 2009):
I suspect he is a homosexual - although you say he is not. There are overwhelming signs;;; he is introvert and finds it hard to communicate -- may be unsure of himself - including his sexuality. He experimented; well again unsureness of sexuality. Problems with father;; stats have shown can influence or bring out homosexuality. Problems maintaining erection - again;; homosexuality. I doubt very much he has been sexually abused this is very rare (it could be true, but looks doubtful).., highest possiblity is he is a homosexual and may come out as one in time. Your defensiveness and quickness to answer and argue with questions shows that you have obviously thought about this -- it has gone through your mind and understandably no female wants to think they are with a homosexual. Bear in mind;; it says nothing at all about you if he is, which it sounds like he may well be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioninhibition about what? thank you... i was really only asking because im concerned about him... i really love him.. and no... its not just teenage love... how many times have we tried to have sex? only twice... now we dont even try cause he's embarassed... i really dunno what to think...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionby the way, i am not the one that came up with this.. my mother mentioned it to me (i tell her everything) and then i become concerned..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe can keep an erection when we do other things but not sex... i dont understand.. i even started blaming myself..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe really isnt gay.. we've spoken about it many times and i told him to leave me if he has the slightest doubt in his sexuality. he claims to have only been experimenting.
i didnt once say that i was the one who could be able to help him.. i was merely concerned about my boyfriend's welfare..
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): Whoa!! He is obviously an introvert and a very nervous one at that !! He probably is so nervous having sex with you, afraid that his performance might not be good hence him battling to hold his erection.
You cannot just label people because they are shy or introverted, and often we see things that are not there, only see them because we want to see them. You have looked up symptoms of abuse, so one of them is being shy or withdrawn.. this does not mean he has been abused. Unless you bf actually tells you he has been abused I suggest you curb your over active imagination.
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