A
female
age
30-35,
*neconfusedchick22
writes:Okay. Where to start.. I'm a mature 20 year old and I was seeing my boyfriend for 9 months until last week. After a couple months of our relationship, I found him on the internet talking to different people about our relationship, nothing too bad, but enough to piss me off and upset me. I got over. Of course, he told me that was all in the past and that he loves me and he doesn't feel like he used to when we first got together. In a way there was somewhat of a trust issue. I did trust him but I always thought to myself.. Mmmh, what if? He was always on the computer and was very discrete and secretive of certain sites he was on, especially his email. He always said that it was nothing that I should be worried about and then he stated that if I saw his email account that I would leave him. Months later, I figured out his password to his email and was torn by what I saw. He had some email conversations with random women on craigslist. He had a ton of nude pictures of all different types of women. I was completely disgusted. I cried and thought to myself, how could he do this to me? After talking about the situation to numerous of friends, some said to forget it because all of the pictures were dated from back before we were dating. Others said to just leave him. I considered leaving him, but I didn't. I know stupid me. Anyways, we fought around Christmas time, I think. We also fought around New Years. Okay, lets cut to the chase here. I think he has a serious problem with the internet and he makes me feel like I don't make him happy, even though he tells me how much I make him happy and how he wants to marry me. This last fight last week, i signed on to his facebook account and I saw that he gave his phone number to a couple of chicks and he also left picture comments on multiple girls pages. Comments such as "sexy" "beautiful" "hot" "i like your legs" and so on. He pissed me off and hurt my feelings so I told him to leave me alone. He couldn't just leave it alone, he called one of my friends and said I was sleeping with her boyfriend, which isn't true. He totally stepped out of line at that point. He keeps calling me and begging for me to be back with him. I do love him but I can't trust him to be on the internet?? I never caught him cheating and I don't think that he is. I do think he has some obsession with being online and acting like a different person. Does that make any sense? I don't know what to do! I'm just ranting on and hoping that someone will give me some inputs on what they think about this. I would also like to know if anyone can relate to this situation. Thanks.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 January 2011):
 I don't think it's him having an obsession with being a different person online, it's more of him shopping around for a new girlfriend. You even said at the beginning of the post he loves you but he doesn't feel like he used to. His feelings for you are fading, he's growing tired of this relationship. This relationship that lacks trust. No trust=no relationship.
Call it virtual cheating if you will, I wouldn't necessarily say it's cheating because he's not going behind your back to screw, kiss some other girl. BUT, he's not exactly being 100% faithful to you with these little online rendezvous.
Even though I don't condone snooping, because you know you're going to find something anyway. You have every right to be upset and to dump him.
Why would you take him back? You don't trust him. I say move on because he admitted himself this relationship was fading, his actions prove it. There's nothing left to rekindle.
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