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female
,
anonymous
writes: Dear CupidShould I try to keep getting my boyfriend to be with me? I have been in a relationship for five years now and since sunday my boyfriend hasn't been returning my calls and has'nt been picking up my phone calls me and him have been argueing alot and this weekend things changed in started coming up late and not wanting to talk to me. We got into a little fight a thursday and we are both stubborn so i decided to be the bigger person and call but one day he has the phone off the hook then on saturday he came home at 1:00 in the morning and that is not usual for him so I called him on sunday, monday and wednesday and he never pick up my calls. I don't know what is going on but I know that i don't want to lose him. I talked to him a tuesday and he said that he loves and that we are together but I never here from him. Should i think there os someone else? I have been sending him e-mails and he never replies back I have been leaving little notes on his car and I never here from him. What should I do. Should I keep trying to get him back or just leave him alone i have been with this guy for 5 years what should I do I really want him back and I am ready to start over with him because I think losing each other is stupid. Please help I am so hurt and I really want him please I need some advice. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your responses I am 22 and he is 25
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (8 February 2007):
 Sounds to me as if you have both had one fight too many! The more you try and contact him the way he's feeling just now, the more you're pushing him away. I would give him his space for the moment and let him cool down a bit.
It could be he's only out with friends to try and have some fun, whatever the reason though, he's not wanting to get in contact with you just now so I would leave it for a couple of weeks. If you haven't heard from him by then then I would take it it's over.
It would have been nice for him to at least be man enough to get in touch and let you know he doesn't want a relationship any more but maybe that's not how he's feeling, maybe he just needs time to think about his future with you.
Cut him some slack and see what happens.
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): Yes, as RythmandBlues says, five years is a long time to be together without a decision to go on and get married (unless you are both very young). It may well be that at this point, the relationship has simply run its course.
Maybe he has met someone else - maybe he hasn't. That he stayed out late Saturday does not necessarily mean he was with someone else. BUT the main point is that he obviously does not agree with you that losing one another is stupid. If he really wanted to continue with you he would be returning your calls, coming round, etc. You have done more than enough with all the phone calls, emails and leaving notes on his car!
Time now to do nothing further to try to contact him. If HE calls YOU, THEN you can have a serious talk as to whether you are going to go on and make definite (not vague!) plans for marriage - OR you are going to bring things to an end and begin to date others. If you had only been going out for a few months I'd say give it more time to see where your relationship goes. But five years? Time to either fish or cut bait, as they say!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): He has not been respoding to your efforts at making contact and he is coming in late and changing his behavior. It sounds like he is cheating on you or is trying to cheat by going out...since you are making all of the overatures, he thinks you will accept this bad behavior from him until...he decides what he wants.
I say take your power back and dump him! I don't know how old you are, but 5 years is a long time to be in a relationship without a future commitment or without the freedom to date other people....maybe it is time to do that. It will be worth it to either move the relationship to the next level or to end it and free yourself for a better love relationship.
I would stop leaving little notes, calling, and e-mailing him, it makes you look needy and desperate, which of course is not fair since you thought the two of you are in love and commited....but he obviously is not, so don't be there alone and demand his respect by breaking up with him over his lack of consideration and respect for your relationship.
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