A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi thanks for reading this. I met this guy on pof and I really like him we have met twice. And we text and call all the time but for the past couple of days we don't. So I did it I came out and say to him I really like u but we don't talk that much am I boring u. If u don't like me anymore just tell me and I'll stop wasting ur time. And he has seen the message but no response and it's been a full day longest we have gone with out talking and like a fool I have phoned him and left a voice mail and still nothing. Wot do I do ? I really like him and I think I have scared him off . Or he is just ignoring me full stop can u please tell me wot I need to or should do please X
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female
reader, Daughterofthesun25  +, writes (15 November 2015):
Your questions may have run him off unfortunately. Some guys are very afraid of commitment and maybe it seems like you were asking for one from him. It happens. If he's not replying then stop contacting him. Any type of relationship even friendship has to be a two way street!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2015): You NEED to stop texting/calling him! I know it's hard when you like someone but you need to let him do the chasing!
Find a distraction so you don't get tempted to contact him, but you need to appear unavailable to him, the chase is attractive to men!
If he does reply to you, no matter what he says, you shouldn't reply straight away. And if he doesn't reply, then he isn't worth you're time. Hope it all goes ok for you!
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (15 November 2015):
Remember what 'pof' stands for...Plenty of Fish...for you and him. This is one of the realities of dating sites. Move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2015): Hi. I see that you met a guy from plenty of fish. Can I just say that I think normally the guys on this website are either looking for a hookup, to mess around with a girls feelings or they have problems forming relationships. Well you have only met this guy twice how can you like him? you barely know anything about him and it is the same for you. To me it sounds like a whirlwind romance which is going to end in tears on your behalf... i think you are taking things too fast and too seriously. i know you are probably excited about the thought of a guy paying you attention but you need to cool it and stop trying so hard.I think that you shouldn't have told him that you really like him either because you've not only appeared really desperate at this stage. you've given him an ego boost and now he knows that you like him he isnt going to bother to make an effort to wow you and make you like him anymore because he knows that he has already done that. I think your messages come across as needy.dont message him anymore. Wait five - seven days if he doesnt make any effort to text you or ring you... move on. he isnt worth it and he isnt interested in you..I think you need to back off maybe he is scared because you are coming on too strong. trust me i used to be like you but when a guy is acting like this you need to back off if he comes back you need to just act cool dont reply to his messages straight away, dont always be available to him and meet up with him when he asks because you are bound to be treated like a bag of shizz which will make you feel sad and your confidence will go down. by acting hard to get you will feel sexy, more confident and the guy will most likely chase you because guys want what they cannot have. please dont be in such a rush to form a relationship. get to know guy first before getting to involved. you could be selling yourself short.... for all you know this guy could be dating hundreds of other women... how are you to know... maybe this is why he hasnt been texting or ringing because he has been to busy with them. best advice to give you... get off pof and all those silly dating site.. improve yourself. improve your confidence. get out there and meet a guy in real life... at least if you meet a guy in real life you can see his true emotions and body language. online it is very easy to pretend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2015): Guys like a challenge, because in their eyes anything worth having requires putting in effort.. Chasing him is not going to do you any favours. If he's interested he'll make the effort, if not, then it's his loss. All the best :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2015): When you get no response to different attempts to reach people over different intervals in time and in different ways; yet they still don't respond? You move on.
Even if they get back to you out the blue, detach any feelings you have until he "earns" your trust. At this stage, he's just getting to know you. It's too soon to know whether he likes you or not. He doesn't really know you, nor do you know him. You've only met him a couple of times. You may come-off too excited out of loneliness and eagerness to have a boyfriend. Guys are very antsy about that with a girl they've only just begun to date.
Feelings should only be attached once you know you're both on the same page. Yes, you did scare him off; by declaring you like him far too soon. You didn't give him enough time to decide how he feels about you, and you don't know enough about him to know why or how much you like him. To some guys, that's needy.
Lay back. Wait and see if he decides to get back in-touch. That doesn't mean sitting by the phone in anticipation and wringing your hands! Go about life as usual, be good to yourself. Hangout with friends, and have some fun. Pretend he doesn't exist. He doesn't have to tell you if he likes you or not at this point. Perhaps the jury's still out on that. Some ladies will tell you otherwise, this is coming from a guy!
If he decides to callback, listen carefully to what his explanation is for the dead air. Don't be whinny or apologetic for trying to reach him. He's the one who owes you an apology. Expect one.
If he doesn't explain, dump him. It's rude to ignore someone you know is trying to reach you, and not so much as a peep to let you know if he's busy, there was an emergency, or maybe he lost his phone. If the excuse sounds lame or like a lie, dump him. He's not the right guy. This behavior will be a pattern that will never change. Don't like anyone so much you'll let then getaway with showing you disrespect. That's a poor foundation even to build a platonic friendship on.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (15 November 2015):
 I think you have done all you can reasonably do. The ball is firmly in his court now. It maybe that he is on holiday or something like that. However don't wait too long for a reply. If he is getting your messages it doesn't sound hopeful to me. Sorry.
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