A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 14 years old and have never had a boyfriend. Everyone at school says that I should have one because I'm "pretty" and have a great personality once they get to know me but I really don't know. I am actually pretty shy around everyone until I get used to the people there.I have so many guy friends, but they are definitely not the type that I would date.The guys that I am interested in never show interest in me, even though a lot of close friends tell me that they like me but I get nervous when I get near them because they never act interested. I think that it's time for me to have a boyfriend, it's just that Im not quite sure with myself and I really don't know what to do.
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never had a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): i don't know if this will help or not but it's worth a shot.... i'm 14 also and it seems like the guys are just nervous too. i myslef am trying to get a boyfriend and i'm a NERVOUS WRECK! but i just think if it doesn't work out oh well. i think our problem is we worry too much about what people will think if we get rejected. try not to worry about it and put your self out there. it may pay off. hope it works out for the best. GOOD LUCK!!!
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 February 2008):
 Don't worry , your Prince Charming will one day appear when you least expect him and he will come and sweep you off your feet.
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A
male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (5 February 2008):
Hi,You are at that stage in your life when everything inside you wants to both grow up quickly and yet at the same time stay as a child. These conflicting emotions along with all the changes taking place as you mature, make it a really difficult time and can mess with your head.Do not worry about whether or not you have a boy friend. Some girls find that special boy when they are 12 or 13 while others must wait until they are 22 or even 30. It will happen in its own time and rushing it will only cause you heartache.What you should do is to consider your life and make sure that you have opportunities to socialise with others around your age. Be very careful with guys who are much older than you, though of course as you grow older the age difference will become less important and that is okay too.As for the guys you are interested in, well they could be just as nervous of you as you are of them. Also remember that while women are usually instinctively good at interpreting body language, most guys are rubbish as it. Sometimes you cannot rely on 'giving a hint' but must find a clearer way of saying how you feel. Whatever you do, do not be afraid of rejection because one thing is certain, it will happen several times in your life. That is just how things are. But if you can come to terms with the fact that rejection is just another part of life, then it will lose its power over you. It will still hurt but it can no longer wipe you out.You speak of being shy. Well that is actually a good thing. My own opinion is that being shy is a protective mechanism that gives you times to get to know someone better before you trust them. Once the trust has built up then of course it is easier to be friends and maybe one day more. The one thing that is important if you are shy is not to let being shy prevent you from mixing with people in a social setting. Go to parties, barbeques, movies, picnics, family gatherings, and other situations where you can mix with all different kinds of people without being 'paired off' with someone. Your own social skills will improve, you will gain confidence, and you will find ways to overcome being shy when you meet a guy who is worth your close attention.With the buys you are interested in, you will get a much better idea of how they feel when you are with them away from their mates. Boys are very much influenced by this idea that it is not macho to show emotions or feelings towards a girl in front of their mates. This is something that the good ones will grow out of but unfortunately some never grow out of it. The skill you need to develop is how to tell the difference before you get hurt. If you get that solved, publish it and make a fortune. (just kidding :-))Your whole life is in front of you and these things will work out in time. Just be confident that you are worth the very best and do not settle for someone who is less than the best. We find our boyfriends and girlfriends from among our friends so the more friends you have the better the odds of finding that special person.Take care and good luck
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