A
male
age
30-35,
*ulfmic
writes:i recently ask a girl out who i have really like for at least 2 years now, and she said no because 'she loves me as a friend'. however, i don't want to give up on her, because to me she is far too special to let slip. is there any way i can get past this 'friend zone' and get a second chance at her?i have no interest in moving on from her so i would appreciate not advising this, but i just want to get her to start seeing me as i see her.many thanksbulfmic Reply to this Question
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male
reader, bulfmic +, writes (6 July 2010):
bulfmic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI admit, the best thing to do would be to move on...but i know you said she isnt special and if i moved on the next girl would be the same etc...but ive liked about 20 girls in my life, been out with 8, but none have them have been in my head so much, and none of them have made me so scared of the possibility i may hurt them. So to me, she is special. I feel happy that right now we're 'just friends' but im not happy to stay this way.
Many thanks for the advice
Bulfmic
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): When you see her just do romantic things etc like buying her a Rose or something, ask her for a walk in the stars but don't push anything or she will just become too creeped out by someone who she sees as a ftiend doing this. You need to make a slow transition, very slow
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Try to ne more intimate with her. Spend time with her alone and flirt or cuddle up to her. Hold her hand and be cute in a low profile way and see if her behavior to you changes. You have to show her that there is a spark there between you two and the "what if" is too much to bear if you two never try to date.
Hope this helps and good luck to you, I know what it is like to be in your postion.
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A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (5 July 2010):
 You have control over your own actions, and to some extent over your own feelings, but not over those of others. You can, however, try to understand what she is feeling.
Being a friend to a girl who you are romantically interested in, then failing to ask them out for a long time, appears incredibly manipulative (I'm sure that was not your intention, but it may appear that way to her). It's as if you were just waiting until she was vulnerable to make a move, while lying about your intentions for months, instead of just manning up and doing it right away. It feelsl ike a betrayal.
This sort of behavior is incredibly unnatractive to women, and likely hurt whatever chances you had with her. It has probably damaged your friendship, too.
Your most realistic option is to move on and find someone else, because she is *not* special. Make you move on the new girl right away, don't be friends first. There is always another nice girl you can connect with emotionally. I know you did not want this advice, but refusing the truth will never make you happy.
I wish I could tell you differently, but I've been that "just friends" guy too. Do you honestly believe that if you met another nice girl, and grew to be friends with her, that you would not think the new girl was special too?
In the future, strike when the iron is hot, and ask a girl out as soon as you have feelings for her.
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