A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was completely ready for sex just a little while ago. My boyfriend of 6 months is 17. I'm turning 15, but I was completely ready to have sex with him a little while ago. We had a good talk and decided it was time, I love him, but I feel like everyone around regrets their first time. Everyone on this website seems to be telling me that I most definetely should not do it. I think I'm ready, but how can I make sure that I will not regret this?
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male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (6 March 2009):
 As everyone has said, if you are asking this question STILL after all our good advise! You will regret it! and looking older means nothing except for the fact you are what's commonly known as jail bait!
A
female
reader, smartazngirl +, writes (6 March 2009):
 You know, because you're already asking this question, it probably means that deep down, inside your heart, really, really, really deep down, you know that you'll regret this somehow and some way. =)
Everyone else who answered are right too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've had serious relationships before. I look older than i am and all of my friends are at least two years older than me. I'll be 16 in a little while and he's had sex before. Oviously the choice is up to me, but how would I know if I really love him because I think i really I do.
thanks for the great advice guys!!! I really appreciate it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): At age 15, you don't love him.
I hate to smack you with a sentence like that because it sounds so condescending, but it's true.
This might be the most serious relationship you have ever had. You might feel things for him that you've never felt for anyone before too. But that does not make it the kind of "love" that you will feel in relationships a few more years down the road. It just means that this current relationship is much more than you've had before up to now.
Believe it or not, there are a couple more steps up the ladder between "middle school make-out buddy" and "soulmate."
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 March 2009):
 It sounds funny to write this to you, but you'll know you're ready when you don't have to ask this question anymore. When it is the right decision for you. Here's a new article written for people in your position:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/thinking-about-losing-your-virginity.html
There's being physically ready and then there's mentally ready. You are mentally ready when you know that this is the right decision for you. You've worked through all the potential consequences and you've found THE guy with whom you can discuss all these intimate details.
The only way to not regret it is not doing it until you know for sure you will not regret it. And you don't know for sure yet, do you? That's your answer.
Another way to think about it is if you can talk to your mother about it. If you can defend your decision to lose your virginity to her, then you're getting there!
I would have to say that most HS romances do not last; there are always exceptions, but out of the hundreds of couples I know, only a handful were high school sweethearts. So if you are thinking that you're going to be with him forever, you might be thinking a little unrealistically. Sorry for being negative about your chances, but it's just straight statistics here.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay. Thanks but everyone is telling me exactly why I shouldn't. It's not going to happen before my 16th birthday so I will be at least 16 and I'm just considering the possibility. How would I know when I'm really ready?
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A
male
reader, Helpful_In_Ohio +, writes (5 March 2009):
 IA m Not here to be your father nor here to sugar coat things for you I would say don't do what your not comfortable with in any way shape or form if you have to sit and talk about things and draw things out before you do them then " YOUR NOT READY " it should come naturally plus you are a young and your not gonna like this part you really don't know what sex is about Its not all about slide in pump in out in out And Finish. Its about heart soul and feelings. You need to feel what you want before you do it. I know i have read that you said you were ready to do it but listen to me No matter what ! Boys ( notice i did not say men ) at the age of 17 are looking for a girl to CONQUER its an ego thing There friends are doing it and they wanna do it to. Don't get sucked into it unless you are truly heart and soul into this guy YOU WILL REGRET IT ! .
I was a virgin till i was 21 and I do not regret anything at all.
Helpful In Ohio
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (5 March 2009):
I hate to say it, but anyone having sex at 14-15 regrets it in the long run, I know you love your boyfriend now and that everything is la la la! But seriously what about when you are 19-20 and have moved on from him, what will other boyfriends think about the fact you had VERY under age sex! They will have no respect for you. It will be very easy at your age for rumours to start you or only have to tell 1 or 2 people, then everyone you know (including family) knows.
Then you get the reputation of being easy (even though you are in a loving relationship).
Also have you discussed babies with your boyfriend? What birth control are you going to use? What are you going to do if it goes wrong, Abortion, morning after pill, adoption or keep it? Can he afford to support you financially and emotionally through these very emotional things?
And above all once you have sex, that's it! There is no going back.
Please take your time, if he respects you (and not just letting his hormones run wild) he will understand and wait till you are old enough. If he won't wait, you should tell him to find someone else as he doesn't actually love you.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (5 March 2009):
 well i thought the same when i was your age as soon as i hit 16 to be legal i did it and i regret it now. i hate myself for it even though i was in a 3 year relationship.kids are always wanting to do the cool thing or what adults are doing but they should be spending their time enjoying their childhood because dear when you hit the real world its not as nice as it seems. and if you do do it for the love of god use contraception. if it were me i wouldnt do it i would be comfortable with myself and grow up a little get a job make friends and then once of legal age ide maybe think about it but now having done that i would wait till it felt like it was with the right one. and your first love 9/10 isnt your real love. good luck with your choice hun think wisely. aphex x
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