A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i have been in a relationship with my fiance for 4 years and have a beautiful child by him. I care about him, would do anything for him and dont know wot i would do if i lost him. We have a very close group of friends whom we spend alot of time with, i have also been friends with them for four years. There is this one friend who i have been extremely attracted to for some time, he is the most gorgeous man i think i have ever met, before now i always thought it was just a stupid crush and that it is o.k to be attracted to other people (i was trying to make myself feel better because i am in a relationship) but over the past couple of months i have become worringly interested in this friend, all i can think of is him and it has taken me a long time to admit to myself that i may have fallen for him also. I feel guilty, i feel depressed, i feel rotten! i always thought that wen i settled down and had children it would be perfect, all i want is whats best for my son, i dont want to leave my partner but this is starting to get the better of me now, i am working and looking after our child, i makesure dinner is on the table for my partner wen he gets home and that the place is tidy (not that he ever asks this of me) but i am stressed as it is and now this, i can finally admit that i have fallen for him too. I now know that it is possible to love two people. I cant sleep, im knackered all the time because i am so sick of feeling this way and not being able to talk to anyone about it because of the guilt that is killing me inside and for the fear of my partner finding out. I literally cnt take anymore, i just want to crawl in to bed and stay there but i cant, i have my baby boy to care for and of course i have never stopped taking the best care of my child possible, even thru me feeling this way because he is the most important thing in my life but i just dont know what to do, keeping secrets from my partner is something i never thought i would ever do and its killing me. Im not sure this friend feels the same way about me, he's given some signals, we get on really well and i can talk to him about almost everything but the point isnt wat he feels for me, its my problem that i need to solve as soon as i possibly can but im just not sure how. Please give me some advice. I cant speak to anyone else.
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female
reader, samohir  +, writes (19 November 2007):
 I would say is possible to be attracted to two, when in broad sense, I believe we can Find,depending of the person of course, 50 000 people to whom we can be attracted and consider to have a good life with. But we make decisons in Ur life, and after makig such we also have responsibilities that come out as a result. So, You have baby and a Man that loves you, No matter you feel atracted to this guy,You should bear in mind this facts. You ve made a decision and the conswquences of you not standing after it, will not apply to You only But also to the children You have and ur marriage.
so, as I said after a couple of years maybe You ll be attracted and feel lust for some other Guy you will meet,and maybe another too, but You made a decision and would say to be stand behind it.
Good luck and Enjoy in ur life with Your family :-)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): you are lusting after this person.what u are experiencing is not love but lust.True love demands commitment to the one you have sais yes to.Read 1st Corithians 13 and accept Christ into ur life to help you if u are not saved.God bless
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A
male
reader, zaf +, writes (19 November 2007):
hi, i am sorry to hear about your situation but what you got to understand is that 2 ppl are involved in this (your fiance and your son).You have to try and keep your distance from your friend otherwise you will may feel MUCH WORSE if your fiance gets hurt emotionally and son when he grows older. The main point is that nothing has happened between your friend and you. Try and spend more time with ur fiance, together with your son. A 4 year relationship is an amazing time to have spent with your fiance. You must obviously love him. You have to think of this, is it worth damaging a relationship that has lasted that long. Dont tell your partner about your situation or else it might escalate. I pray everything works out well.
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