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I think I'm in love with my male best friend

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 February 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 February 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *ealismNotMagic writes:

Hey, so, I'm a seventeen year old guy, living in the UK, and in short, I think I'm in love with my male best friend.

I've known Ryan for about ten years. We've been best friends since first school, and we played together all the time. Around three years ago, he left for six months to be with his dad, and when he came back... he was... different.

I guess I've never seen how much he's changed, but in those six months, he lost a lot of weight, put on a lot of muscle and completely changed his attitude. He was like a whole other person. He used to be such a prick sometimes before, but when he came back, he was easygoing and happier than I've ever seen him. But that wasn't all that changed. He started getting a lot more... comfortable with me.

Instead of going out with a group, we'd kind of slope off by ourselves. We'd go off jogging together, or going to the gym together; just guy stuff, but then also going out to dinner and the movies and pretty much anywhere and everywhere.

About a month ago, for a friends' birthday, we went to this big park in a group of all of us. We started to play hide and seek (because hey, we're mature like that) and we ended up squatting in some bush, muffling our laughter, and he suddenly took my hand and led me off into the park. It was just... beautiful, and we kept on holding hands, but he's always been a touchy guy, so I didn't really react. He just kind of turned to me, and suddenly he was brushing his fingers up my arm, and I thought for a second he was going to kiss me, but then our friend came barrelling through and yelled that she'd found us, so we were it. We kinda gave up on the game after that and all went for food, but it made me realize something. I actually really wanted him to kiss me, and I've wanted him to kiss me for a really long time. I mean, I started having weird dreams about him ever since he came back after that six month trip away, but it was the first time I thought of it as something other than just sexual frustration, and it was really weird for me.

About two weeks ago, we were over at my house and he was staying overnight, and we kinda curled up and fell asleep in the same bed, because we were both too lazy to move. I woke up in the middle of the night, and he was curled into me from behind, arms around my waist, and I think he was crying but I can't be sure. When I woke up in the morning he was in the kitchen making breakfast.

He's always been there for me. He's let me cry on him, laugh with him, hang out with him whenever and I just... I don't know how to tell him, or if I should tell him, that I really, really like him. Do you think he likes me too, or am I just imaging things? What should I do?

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A female reader, Dear Mandy United Kingdom +, writes (27 February 2012):

Dear Mandy agony auntHI

Are you sure that you are gay? or is it because you two are so close, your mistaking these feelings for love? Its sounds like he could be struggling with his sexuality, which is why he may have been crying in the night. Its all very tricky at this age, some can argue its hormones, others will say you know what you want. But I guess the only way YOUR going to find out is by speaking to your friend, ask why he stroked your arm in the park and held your hand, ask if he has feelings for you, you wont know unless you ask, and as your asking him not telling him about how your feeling, it shouldn't put you in an awkward situationi if his not feeling the same. you have the right to know why he touched you this way. If he feels the same about you, then you have your answer.

Mandy xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012):

i think you should tell your friend how you feel about him. You will have to be prepared for either a positive or negative reaction. If your friendship is a strong as you portray it then it will put both of you in a position of choice. What you have to be prepared for is rejection and if so would your friendship then be at risk. All you can do is be honest with yourself !!! good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012):

i think you should tell your friend how you feel about him. You will have to be prepared for either a positive or negative reaction. If your friendship is a strong as you portray it then it will put both of you in a position of choice. What you have to be prepared for is rejection and if so would your friendship then be at risk. All you can do is be honest with yourself !!! good luck

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