A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a friends with benefits relationship with someone I dated for a few months. We see each about once a week to hang out and have sex. I've become secretly very attached to him. I can't eat, I can't sleep and I feel so sad most of the time because I know he doesn't want to be with me as a real boyfriend. I know I'm borrowing trouble by continuing to see him, but it's the only thing I have to look forward to! I've lost about 10lbs since I started seeing him because I've lost my appetite from stress. When I'm away from him for too long or he doesn't call me, I get very angry and depressed.What is wrong with me? I suppose I should cut this off but I just can't do it. Am I in love with him? He's all I think about, but I've never told him how I feel because it would scare him away!
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (20 April 2009):
 This is called codependency.
No matter what anyone says on this site, your response will be "I can't."
It is up to you to find the strength to get out of this cycle. Talk to someone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Have you tried talking to him about this? I mean does he know that you have any feelings for him? Does he indicate at all that he has feelings for you? I am really sorry that you are dealing with this. I have been there before and as much as you try not to, you always develop feelings for that person. Have you tried getting out and meeting new people? I know you said you lost your job but I am sure there are inexpensive things to go out and do or even free ones (I am not sure where you are from). You could even try to meet some friends online, be very careful though because there are alot of scumbags mixed in with the nice, normal people. All is not lost here. I think maybe if you add a few things in your life and take the major focus off of him you will see that there is more to life. I have tons of ideas as to stuff you could go out and do so if you ever want to know just PM me. I wish you the best of luck...J
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know i'm headed for even deeper heartbreak. trust me, i know. i want more than anything to break it off with him and find someone else, but it took me so long to find a guy i could date, i lost my job recently due to the economy and i'm very depressed and lonely on top of being stressed out over my job and my love life.
so i know that this FWB is going to end badly and that i'm setting myself up for disaster, but the only thing giving me any pleasure in life right now is when i see him. literally, i don't want to do anything else anymore.
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A
female
reader, Soph.p  +, writes (20 April 2009):
I sort of agree with the previous reply. However I've been in a similar situation and it was fucked up. We'd been out before and we will always have feelings for each other but thing is i am over him because even though we were doing stuff and since he knows how i feel I felt he was basically using me without thinking of what I am feeling. So we called it off. Now he has a girlfriend and doesn't give a shit about me. Basic end of my "tragic" story is don't let it go too far so that you aren't really hurt.
x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Well its no good for you to continue as you are.
Id suggest telling him how you feel, you never know maybe his feeling have changed also.
If as you suspect he is scared away, then you will be free from this situation to move on and find someone who can be with you in a partnership.
goodluck
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