A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I think I have serious trust issue's with men. Had to serious long term relationships the first being with my son's dad who cheated on me when my son was 3 months old. The next I was with him for 6 years and he was a free loader which I now see at the time I didn't. Now I met a nice man on a dating site everything great except for me I just kept on thinking he wasn't interested and constantly texted him as much now we are on a break after I asked him if he wanted me too leave him alone and he said just for a bit I know I have probably texted too much but as I say can't trust men. Help
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (8 February 2010):
 I think you're also a bit insecure. I mean this in the nicest way possible (I don't know if that's possible).
So you have trust issues and that's understandable considering the type of relationships you've had.
One thing though that men (and women) hate is being compared to an ex or not being trusted because some dude before them broke your trust.
What you need to do is use what you have learned from your past relationships to your advantage.
Look at every new man as that...a NEW man...someone who has that potential and someone you need to give a chance to. Watch what he says and does, and how he treats you...but don't jump the gun. Don't assume the worst all the time, don't nag and don't become clingy.
Why did you feel the need to text this new guy so often? You say you thought he didn't like you...why do you think he was dating you if he didn't like you. When you have such a low view of yourself, men will pick up on it and they'll start to wonder why they're with you.
You've had some bad experiences, but hold your head high. Not every man is a cheat and a liar. Give a new man the time and attention he deserves. Time will show you who he really is. The worst thing you can do is believe that a man doesn't like you, that he's cheating, lying and so on...because eventually your behaviour can lead him into all that. If you take care of yourself and your life this will make you attractive.
With this new guy, lay off a little. Don't contact him...an occassional hello is ok but that's it. Make him wonder what you're up to, how you're spending your time...he'll soon be intrigued and will come looking.
When I stopped worrying about whether a guy liked me or not, whether it'll work or not, whether he'll stay with me or not...is when I met the most amazing man. So put all those bad experiences behind you, treat them as life lessons and use them to better yourself and your relationships.
Best of luck :)
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