A
male
age
30-35,
*doherty97
writes:I recently discovered that I am bisexual. I'm a 16 year old male. I feel like I am a straight guy trapped in a bisexual guy's body. I don't think I was meant to be this way and it makes me sad because I don't accept myself at all. I hate myself deeply. I have decided that I don't want to accept who I am because I seriously believe it's not who I am supposed to be. I'm not against homosexuality or anything, it's just it's not me. My urges tell me that I am craving a sexual experience with another male but I will never let myself, because thinking about it makes me very uncomfortable. I'm just worried because I feel like I'm bullying myself and I don't know when it will end. I really wish I could change my sexuality. I would do absolutely anything if it meant I could. I do realize that I am also attracted to girls, but it's not as strong as my attraction for guys, and i want these urges to end! Can someone please help me??
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female
reader, Sassypanda  +, writes (3 January 2015):
Bi, gay, lesbian there is no problem with being like this you are who you are I know people who are bi and they don't hate themselves as where I live EVERYONE is equal. Know one is hated for who they love as love is love.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (19 December 2014):
Start off by being honest with yourself: you are against homosexuality or you wouldn't be having this crisis. You think that being bi means you're broken because heterosexuality is society's norm. Well guess what, society's norms are messed up when it comes almost everything so don't use that as a guideline in life.
Look, you are who you are. You can't just wish your sexuality away. It doesn't work like that. The sooner you realize that and learn there's nothing wrong with you, the sooner you'll become happy. You're no less than anyone who is straight.
In fact, you should probably count this as a plus because the dating pool is much bigger for you. You're so awesome that your love and attraction doesn't limit itself to one gender!
And you're not in a minority, you know. Lots of bi people don't openly display their sexuality. But there are a lot of them. Just look at the replies you got; several bi people there.
I'd definitely look into therapy to help deal with the confusion and the internalized homophobia. The sooner you sort yourself out, the better. You have to spend your whole life with yourself after all. You might as well enjoy it.
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A
male
reader, mandick9in +, writes (18 December 2014):
I have been married for over 30 years. When I was 15 I had not thought about a guy or played with a guy. I stayed all night with a friend. He showed him self to me after we went to bed and ask if I wanted to play with, thinking I would be a sissy to him if I didn't I said sure, we played with each other a while then he looked at me and ask if I would give him oral, and again not wanting to be a sissy to him I did and he also gave me oral. I must say I did like playing and giving him oral, but It did not stop me from wantting girls. I have played with other guy since that time but still like my women. If you feel like you are wanting to play with a guy rather than a girl, try to find a few girls that will give you some and then see if you still feel the same about wanting to try a guy. If you do then try it, some times it is just being curious that can make you feel like you do. Just be safe
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2014): I tried SO hard not to be gay. You are what you are. Of course at 16 it feels a massive burden / source of shame (internalised homophobia) - I promise IT GETS BETTER.
Whatever your sexuality is, it's NATURAL, it's innate, it's wonderful & it's not something you can help. Go easy on youreslf, step back, there's NOTHING WRONG with your feelings & dude in a few years' time you'll be doing the catwalk.
Be yourself. Best of luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2014): It's alright to be who you are. We don't control how we're born and we all deserve the same respect. There is only one problem...... I am female and was in a relationship with a man who may be bisexual for a little over a year. He never really disclosed anything about his sexuality and I never thought that he was anything other than straight. What's more, I found out after the fact that he has a reputation of persuing women even while he was married. He admitted to me one day when we were having disagreements that he has doubted his own sexuality in the past. His list of friends are nothing but women. The only intimacy that we had were embraces and kisses and yet we are older adults. Even though he spoke about intimacy, he never made it happen. He once expressed concern that I might give up because of the lack of intimacy. So with this, what I am trying to say is that if you are like this, please be honest and give the person a chance to decide if the relationship is right for him/her. For me, it was a mistake mainly because I also discovered that the commitment that he gave me was not exactly a commitment given he also wanted to continue sseeing his past women friends for dinners. I knew it was wrong for one thing, the other or both.So again, just be honest while being yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2014): I consider myself straight but would hole up with Angelina Jolie in a heart beat.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 December 2014):
 Maybe it helps you if I tell you that just because you are attracted to guys as well as girls, doesn't mean you HAVE to be with guys. It's up to you to choose who you want to be with, regardless of your sexuality. I am also bisexual, and I can tell you that even if I am more physically attracted to women, I have never had a relationship with a woman and always been happy with men. I have experimented with women, but that's all. I am monogamous in my relationships just the same way everyone else who are monogamous. Bing bisexual does not mean you will HAVE to date people of the same gender, just because you are bisexual. For me it always comes down to who I like and feel a connection with, and that has happened with men, and not women. And once in a relationship, I only have eyes for the man I am with and am not tempted by anyone else, regardless of gender.
So, just because you are bisexual, do not worry. You might NEVER actually feel the need to, or end up doing, anything sexual with another man. Just because you feel an attraction, physically, does not mean you will ever fall in love with a man, or want to be with a man. And if you don't want to be with a man, then you are free to only date women. That is your choice. Despite being able to see the beauty in both genders, you do NOT have to be with both genders. You can choose. That's the brilliant thing of it all, you get to choose, while others are stuck with their "straight" sexuality and only go for one gender (including homosexuals who are just as locked by gender as heterosexuals).
You get to choose to be with whomever you want. And if you only want women, then you have every right to date and be with only women.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (3 December 2014):
There is NOTHING you can do to stop your urges. If you don't want to act on them then don't, but you can't change your own sexuality, millions of people have made themselves miserable over trying.
Best to make peace with these feelings. I personally see nothing wrong with acting on them, but if you are dead set against it then simply acknowledge them inwardly and try to stop hating yourself for them.
Therapy might help you come to some sort of terms with this, and not that repairative therapy garbage that tries to de convert you. A kind therapist with plenty of experience with LBGTQ people would be best.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 December 2014):
 I really want to change that I'm 54 with a bad back.
that's not happening and neither is your being able to change your inherent sexual orientation.
I'm bisexual. I'm married to a man now and cheating is not an option nor is an open relationship so forsaking all others is no big deal but I miss girls.
IF you are bisexual (or at this point bi-curious) then I think it's better to figure it out now and "get it out of your system" so to speak.
IF you push your bisexual feelings under the rug and ignore them they will only re-surface later and cause problems in any relationship you have going on as you will have to express these feelings to a partner who had no clue it was coming.
you say your urges make you uncomfortable... do you know why that is?
perhaps working with a therapist who specializes in teens or sexuality could help you.
BTW being bicurious at your age is very normal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2014): One of the biggest causes of human suffering is Great Expectations. You expect to drive x car when you're older. To have a wife, a mortgage, 2 kids, a white picket fence and your dream job. To go travelling, have perfect health, love all and be loved by all. That's what most people expect.But life's not like that. I'm not much older than you but I've learned that the best thing to do for my own sanity and happiness is to let go of expectations and just simply BE. I now do what makes me genuinely happy, even if it's not the norm; even if I'd never expected it. Accept who you are and it will be the most liberating thing you can ever do for yourself. Also think about why you don't want to be attracted to men. Why do you hold yourself to a different standard from other people? Why is it ok for other people to pursue happiness regardless of their sexuality but you are not?
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A
male
reader, lifesgreat  +, writes (3 December 2014):
maybe you have been brought up somewhere where Homosexuality is not so popular ? or maybe close family members are quite against it ? ( just guessing)
But you can not stop who you are I am afraid mate ...it what makes you .. you.
erm who do you find yourself staring at more blokes or women ? I mean if you are actually having urges for both you should try it and see what is more your thing .
If you deny yourself your feelings , you could end up in 20 years ,, married with 2 kids .. wanting to cheat on your Mrs ...
good look finding yourself mate
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