A
female
age
26-29,
*orserider96
writes:Ever since I was little I've always liked boys but there's also something that has made me admire some women more than normal. When I was 6-7 there was a female teacher that I really admired (though at that age I doubt it meant anything) but there was just something about her that made her my favourite teacher for a very long time even when I'd moved on.I'm 16 now and I still obviously like boys, however I've never had a boyfriend. When I was 11 I was pretty desperate for a boyfriend (like almost every pre-adolescent kid) but since about 2 years ago I've realized that I just prefer flirting and that unless I find the perfect guy, dating is just a hassle right now as I have more important things to deal with. I also seem to have crushes that unless are on someone pretty special, I get bored of the person after a month or two. Now onto the important bit. There's this girl who joined my grade last september and ever since I started talking to her I dunno, I think I've had a crush on her. I don't know if it was a real crush or girl crush but it was just her personality that attracted me to her. She's trouble but she's fun. She smokes, drinks alcohol, takes drugs, has a lot of issues and has managed to somehow turn half the people in my grade to doing these things, but she's also one on the most reliable and (not nicest) but she is somebody who would do anything for you, as long as she liked you. Because of this for quite a long time I've had this urge to just kiss her (because I know she's kissed girls before) but have never actually done anything.It's pretty much thanks to her that I'm wondering if I am bi-sexual or just bi-curious because I know that in the future I want to marry and man and be with a man and the idea of having sex with a girl really doesn't appeal to me, but I really want to kiss other girls to see how I react.What do you guys think am I or am I not? Also what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): I've read quite a few questions like this one, and it seems quite a common thing for girls your age to be curios and feel the need to experiment, it doesn't necessarily mean you are bi sexual (but I'm not saying it doesn't meant that either) though it may just be a hormone thing, a phase as you're still developing physically and mentally and emotions can get a bit complicated and confusing.
Why not ask the girl what kissing other girls meant for her? She must know now since she's done it and maybe able to give an insight. Providing it wasn't just a drink or drug influential thing whereby she wouldn't be aware what she was doing.
The last thing I would do is just kiss her out of the blue. You wouldn't want to make a big scene out of it so the whole school knows about it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 You are bi-curious… you may be bi-sexual but until you have an experience with another girl you won’t know.
I am bisexual. I prefer men to women but I enjoy sex with women too…. I have opted to be monogamous with a man at this point in my life so that means no what I call “girl play” although in the past I have enjoyed it a lot and would be open to it again as fun and game.
FOR me however, my long term life partners have always been male. I’ve never considered having a long term serious lesbian relationship…. But that’s just me, I’m not opposed to it for other people.
I really think being bisexual is harder than being gay… because either you are in an open relationship or you have to make a choice…
As to what you should do, that’s your choice dear. The issue is that you have a crush on a “bad girl” she smokes, she drinks, she does drugs and she’s not nice…. If you only find your urge to kiss HER and not other girls in general then it may be very person specific and not an indication of your being bi.
It’s normal to have crushes on members of the same sex and NOT be sexually into them.
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