A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think I'm being manipulated.My husband's best friend is getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage.His wife was always cold with us. Their visits got rarer and rarer to the point that she stopped coming all together and he visited us alone. Their invitations became rarer and rarer. She always made other plans. We never complained. It was just weird. Btw, she never gave me a call, ever. We never hung out or anything. Which makes the following even weirder.A coupe of weeks ago, I logged into Skype, which I check about twice a year. A few moments later I received a message from her. After we exchanged the "hellos" she dropped the bomb. She told me that they were getting a divorce and that I should try not to tell my husband.I respected her wish and I said nothing to him. It made sense. His friend would tell him, when he's ready. It's not our business anyway.However, the wife started texting me (as I said for the past ten years we had no one-on-one contact, I wasn't sure she even had my number). The last time she called, she hinted she would have understood if I told something to my husband (which I didn't).I got the gut feeling that that's exactly what she wanted me to do all along. She wanted to know if we saw her husband etc.I feel so uncomfortable, which I told her. She never shared any details with me, she kept "interrogating" me in a way.I don't know what to do.Should I tell my husband or not?I just feel in the middle of something that has nothing to do with me.I feel so stressed.
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best friend, divorce, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (15 November 2014):
 Good! Glad we could help and thanks for the followup.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for you help!
I did tell him in the end.
I felt soooo relieved!
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A
female
reader, Miss Lou +, writes (7 November 2014):
You have every right to talk to your husband about this. You should just let her know you are not comfortable being involved with this conversation and that you wish her the best of luck. She sounds like a manipulative person. Try blocking her from the app. If she were a great friend, that would have been expressed over the 10 years. I think you are exactly right she's trying to turn you into a tool.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 November 2014):
 I would tell my husband what was going on. I would let him deal with his friend (her husband)
and I agree that if you can't just ignore her or tell her that you do not wish to be party to this nonsense that you block her.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (5 November 2014):
You owe this woman nothing beyond common courtesy. Whatever her reasons for being cold and standoffish with you she had a decade in which to clear the air.
Tell your husband whatever you want, whenever you want. Tell her nothing. In fact take just stop responding to her emails and texts. Feel free to delete and block her entirely and offer no explanations. If you cross paths and she's rude enough to ask, just tell her you prefer to stay out of their divorce.
Be classy, but keep the woman at arms length.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 November 2014):
 I would tell my husband, because that is just so darn strange. And yes, I would feel a loyalty towards my OWN husband and her HUSBAND, not her.
After that I would block/delete her. I don't think she is doing all this to be your friend. I think she is looking for ammo against her husband and to create drama.
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