A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for nearly a year now, and i really like her alot. We say we love eachother daily, but i really dont even know what love is. She does alot of shit that bothers me and i can't tell if im over reacting or if im angry for a decent reason. If she's the one who is out of line then i am willing to put her aside and move on with my life. i just need an outsiders opinion!So, one day she left her phone at my house. Out of boredom, i looked through all her cell phone messages. I know it was wrong of me, and i should trust her, and all that crap. But i did it anyways. I found out she was talking to this guy who lives out of town. She sees him like once a month when she goes on these trips with her family. They started off by saying they missed eachother, then she asked him to call her that night and sing to her (corny)and he said he would do it. He sent her the name of these corny love songs he wanted to sing to her/listen to, and she said she liked them alot. He sent her love songs like everyday for a week, which was usually followed by a flirty conversation. He usually told her he loved her when he had to go, but it wasn't one of those "touchy touchy" i love yous. it could have just been friendly. She never said it back, but they were obviously flirty conversations. On top of that, they have many pictures together on facebook, and he has is arm around her in a few. Not to mention, hes a pretty good looking guy. Also, when we first started going out, she changed her relationship status on facebook to "in a relationship". People commented under it assuming she was dating the guy i mentioned before. I talked to her about this guy (i never mentioned i went through her phone) and she said she loves me, and that hes only a friend. Am i getting played or am i over reacting? I don't want to hear that i need to talk to her about it, she always gets mad when i bring up other guys. It starts a fight because she thinks i dont trust her, which is partly true. Im just worried about this guy, i feel like if he lived closer to her she would be with him instead of me.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 April 2011):
 She probably would be with him if he was local but he's NOT.there are three things that matter here:locationlocation locationLong distance relationships SUCK. they are hard to maintain and when a teen useless IMO....you do need to trust her more if she has done nothing to warrant distrust.jealousy is an emotion borne of insecurity and it's so NOT attractive.
A
female
reader, Kirchy  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 You do need to learn to trust her more. I know that I would hate that if my boyfriend was jealous of me and my best friend I would get angry. My best friend is a guy and we are really close so it would annoy me if my boyfriend was jealous of that because I know that nothing would happen between me and my best friend. If you really think that she would do something behind your back then you should maybe reconsider.Hope this helps. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): Totally agree with Janiepeg. This girl is not thinking about you or the other guy she is leading you both on. You are so right not to trust her. Your instinct is telling you not to and its right. You have the proof.
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A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 Are there pics of you with her on facebook.If not, then book it.You don't trust her, I don't know if I would either.I know a lot of people who keep in touch with ex's and old flames. It is often innocent and then sometimes not.Outside of this guy or your trust issues, how is your RS with her. You say you don't know what love is, that's cool.In RS many of us don't. But look at the perks, does she make you feel good about yourself, do you feel like you want to do better because of her? Do you want to make her happy more often then fighting?Or be totally honest with her, "I think you're keeping your options open, I think maybe I should too"See how she relates to that.If I'm seeing one guy though, I keep them on the front page.They're king in my book and on my facebook. I keep my past RS's as "wuz up" but that's it. Some I don't ever talk to or communicate with. But number one man is always first in everything, He reflects our RS and respect and loyalty spell love to me.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (29 April 2011):
 You think your girlfriend would be with him. Not necessarily. She just likes the attention. I don't think she really respects him that much. She tells him to do this do that, and he follows like a dog.
Regain your position by trusting in yourself. I don't know if this relationship would last long but for your reference, never second guess yourself. She sounds like she steps on people who are nice and it boosts her ego. You should want the best for yourself. Do you really want that as a girlfriend? You don't trust her. So? She is not trustworthy, not that you are weak, insecure or something. She is playing both of you.
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