A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've recently discovered I'm pregnant - and I'm not really sure what to do. I've been to the doctor and gotten an appointment for the termination clinic, as the doctor has said I could be 7-9 weeks and if I'm at the upper end of that, there's not much time left to get the termination. The more I think about going for this termination, the less I want to. I'm young, 18 and straight away I know a lot of you will think that no I can't handle having a baby as I'm too young. I was about to move to the other end of the country, which if I were to have this baby I think I still would do as I have more people that could support me down there than where I live now. I've just finished college, and have a job lined up for when I move. I know that having a baby would not be easy, I'd never expect it to be but the more I think about it the more I think it's what I want to do. My mum had me quite young, and my grandma had her even younger and they've both managed really well. The father of my potential baby is not a boyfriend of mine - he's been a casual partner for a couple of months and someone I have known for quite a while. More than likely when I was to tell him though, after the initial shock he'd be fine and support me. He's 21. I just want some advice on what you think I should do? and maybe if any of you are young mums or mums at all could give me ideas on the cost of things (in the UK) and what being a mother is really like. I know I probably aren't ready, and it was never something I would've planned at this age but I don't think anyone can be truly ready for a baby until they have one and I think I'd really be able to cope with the challenge. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): i think you already have your answer if you think you can manage its alot of hard work havin a baby but you always have your family and friends to help you out im sure they know what your going threw and will stand by you im a single mother of 3 was in a long term relationship that ended 3 years ago and since then i have been on my own and managed well but everyone is different
if you go ahead with an abortion you must think of the after affects its going to have and could you cope with it its no easy choice to make but it has to be a choice you have to make and you have to live with not anyone else and i think you should talk to someone before makin that choice
A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (24 June 2011):
hi there all i can say is really have a good think about what you want to do i have just recently had a abortion at 17 weeks not through choice because i had to the baby would of been severely disabled and i would not have carried full term it was the worst thing i have ever had to go through all i could see everytime i closed my eyes for months after was this tiny baby my baby i have got a son who is nearly 3 and i am a single mum at 25 18 is not to young to be a mum if you feel ready it is the most exciting fantastic feeling hope i helped
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (24 June 2011):
 Your mother and grandmother managed well? In what? Raising their daughters not to get pregnant without planning it?
Casual sex partner taking responsibility for the next two decades of raising a kid?
Think you really will be able to cope with the "challenge"?
This ain't a reality show in which you got to build X in Y time with an exciting voice over. It is a kid inside you that will seriously hamper any plans you had with your life.
For instance, you job. Will it be waiting for you with a baby? Maternity leave is such a good way to go into your trial period.
What about dating? How many guys you currently date will want to go to maternity class with you? A reliable topic on this forum is single mothers unable to find anyone for anything else but sex because gosh, young men are NOT lining up for an instant family.
That and much more is the reality of being a single mother. Lots of women cope perfectly fine with it, but you better have the reality check now and prepare for it then have it happens when you have a baby to care for.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): Hello, I'm in a similar situation to you-just found out i'm pregnant (unplanned) and am not sure what to do. I've told my boyfriend, though, and I think it's important for you to talk to the father of your baby. Is there anyone else you can talk to? Your grandma or Mum? Especially as they had children at a young age?
Your GP might be able to tell you about services that give advice to young mums in your area, but this website is also quite useful: http://www.brook.org.uk/pregnancy/having-a-baby
Hope that helps a little.
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