A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am 19 years old, I am in a 3 1/2 years relationship with my boyfriend, in which, I love still but than again it's becoming very lame. I feel bad to break up with him because he loves me so much... I decided to go away for College.. I live in Illinois.. moving to Cali for school.. i am a chicken and i think i just need to be single but its so easier to tell someone they need to live life. blah blah blah and so much harder from acutally doing so.. What should i do and how can i tell him that i love him but i am not sure if i am still in love with him... Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): I would forget the bit about telling him you love him but are not in love with him. That tends to be confusing, and a lot of baloney, quite frankly. I don't doubt that you do care about him, but that's not at all the same thing as being willing to make a definite (or longer term) commitment to him.
Tell him you have given your relationship careful consideration, (emphasize the fact that you have thought long and hard) and have come to a decision to end it - particularly in view of the fact that you are going to be in college full-time and you need to focus your attention there, not to mention that you're going to be geographically very distant. (Long-distance relationships are difficult to maintain in any case).
Let him know you appreciate his consideration toward you, and have enjoyed being with him.
Ending a relationship is never easy, and he's bound to feel hurt and sad. He needs to know you think him a good, decent man, and he hasn't offended you in any way....wish him well for the future......
Good luck!
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