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age
51-59,
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writes: My boyfriend moved into my house almost four years ago. He has a verified history of keeping outside "relationships" with other women. Last June I caught him in a heated romance with a co-worker, Stacy which he denied, but then suddenly told me he'll never talk to her again like that and he is "recommitted to" me. Which I never knew he was not committed so that was odd. He clamored and crawled to save the relationship, took me on expensive trips, allowed me access to his cash. He casted a decent image of a committed man in many ways. But there are signs I am suspicious of. He continued to be overly protective of his Blackberry which all forms of communication is done; email, text, telephone, pictures, etc. He also started a system of forwarding communications directly from his cell to his Blackberry. In July he got a message alert at one-thirty in the morning and I handed him his Blackberry and asked him to open in front of me. He refused.Ever since his affair was found out, he changed how his alerts come through on his cell phone and Blackberry. Then he hides his Blackberry bill. I am writing to day because I discovered he went through my car while I was asleep and removed his unopened Blackberry invoice which I was wanting to open later. My theory is he channelized all his flirting/affair communications to his Blackberry. On top of this he is abusive; screaming at me: You're an ungrateful b**** You're a psycho b**** You're a f****d up b****I hate being with you I hate my life with you What's goes around comes aroundYou're f****n' broke ass and can't make any moneyI think I need professional help or intervention to leave him.In our county you have to serve evictions to those whom you've allowed to reside for 30 or more days. I'm scared I may be making a mistake or that the process will be unsafe. I'm so flustered right now.What do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): YEP, he is scum alright. kick his sorry arse out of your home and out of your life for good. show him that you can survive without him and that you will actually do beter with him out of your life. oh, and he can take his blackberry, his invoices and whatever other incriminating evidence with him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): Consult housing auhorities, but ou you need to get him out of your house. What a mess!, Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): I think you definitely need this lying, cheating s.o.b. OUT of your house and out of your life, as of the day before yesterday!!
He shows a tendency not only to lie to you, but also to be at least verbally (I hope not physically) abusive.
I would strongly recommend that before you say one word to him about leaving, you go consult a lawyer. I don't know enough about this sort of thing to say anything further.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): First of all I feel that once a man has cheated you have the right to check his e-mails and phone for a reasonable amount of time. If he won't agree to this you definitly have to split from him.
You need to tell him to leave. There must be exceptions to the 30 day rule if you feel you are at risk of injury.
There are message boards that address legal questions. I suggest doing a search for one.
It's so hard to start over after four years. You will be much better off without this man who does not treat you with respect. Good luck.
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