A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have 2 children and left my partner after he ran off with someone else and since i have left him i have been wondering if im gay. I have a few gay freinds and i really fancy one of them, i also went out on a night out with a freind of a freind and we had such a good night chatting all night long we didnt go home till bout 6 in the morn. It has always been something im curious about as my sex life with men has never been that great and i imagine it to be better with women.I dont know how to approach this, as i dont know where to meet any gay females and how i would tell my freinds after all these years and wonder if it would be selfish to get involved with a woman because i have 2 young children!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advice, i have decided that i will just go out with my gay freinds one night and see what happens. I have told one of my close gay freinds how i feel, and they gave me the same sort of advice. So im going out into town with them next weekend, and maybe hopefully things may seem clearer and there all so much fun i know im gonna have a great time anyway. Thanks so much for your advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): coming from a gay female (myself), i'm in a slightly different situation but can completely relate. i've been out since i was 18. so all of my friends know that i'm gay. it's harder, i know, when you've had long time friends who have only known you as straight. but honestly, if your friends love you, which i'm sure they do, they shouldn't have any problem with adjusting to it. i've known good friends who came out later in life only to have great support from their friends and family. another thing. my girlfriend has a son. and he actually just told her tonight how glad he is that she met me because he sees us as one big happy family now. she used to date men previously, and her son had met some of those guys. and when she started dating girls, he never skipped a beat. he never had a hard time adjusting whatsoever. he'll even say to people "my mama doesn't like to date boys." and he says it so matter of fact and content. he's not phased or confused by it at all. i think if you introduce it to them at a younger age it is easier. no doubt about that. you say you're not sure how to meet gay females but you mentioned that you know a few yourself. go out with them one night. i'm sure they know some other gay people. we all tend to flock together for some reason. where there's one, there's many, many more. lol. worst case scenario, you meet someone, give it a shot or two, and see how you feel. there's no shame in that. your kids don't even have to know you did it unless you decide to actively pursue women permanently from then on out. but it will definitely answer your question about how you feel about women.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I agree with Dorothy on this one. Don't worry yet about the labels. Just explore and see if your heart and attraction leads you to women. Don't worry about coming out to your friends yet until you have determined that you are in fact gay.
Or better yet, love is love. If you fancy someone, go for it. Would it be selfishness if you have 2 kids and dated a man? Nope. Why would dating a woman be any different?
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (7 June 2011):
Hi there. Perhaps it is only curiosity and nothing more.
I guess you could go to gay bars where there are gay females there, and just get chatting to them and see how you feel in that environment.
The truth is, you are never really going to find out for sure unless you do experiment. It's the only way.
Otherwise, if you don't venture out and see for yourself firsthand, you are just going to go on wondering about it for the rest of your life.
You might find that it's not for you, and that you really don't feel that way about another woman at all. But on the other hand, you might find that it is you to a T.
You are just going to have to try it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
At the very least if you do try it, well then you will know one way or the other.
But you need to give it a fair go and meet a few gay women to see how you feel towards them or if you actually end up finding that you only like men in that way after all.
Try it and see, you have absolutely nothing to lose.
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