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I think I might be bisexual or bi-curious, how do I tell people this?

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 March 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok I think I'm either bisexual or bi-curious. And I'm not too sure how the girl I like will respond if she finds out. Please help how should I go about telling people about it?

Thanks

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A male reader, Steelhawk65 United States +, writes (3 March 2011):

Steelhawk65 agony auntBefore you even think about telling anyone anything, you need to be 100% sure of yourself. If it turns out you're actually straight, people won't belive you, and you'll be labeled as a bisexual.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (3 March 2011):

janniepeg agony auntI am bisexual but I don't act on my feelings because what are the odds that girls would like me that way too? I am happy with my man, he's quite enough for me. He tells me it's okay for us to explore occasionally, like 3 times a year at the most.

That's just us. I think a lot of straight girls would have a problem with you exploring. What is your purpose of telling people about this? A subtle way is to point out a guy you like and say how hot he is. If your friends are true friends they would accept you.

Do you care about telling people, or just the girl you are with? Some girls might feel that this is the end to a relationship, some girls are more open minded. The girl would probably think that you are not going to love her enough. If you are lucky the girl you have would also be bisexual so she would understand you. You have to be very careful because you might put an end to a relationship that's actually has a lot of potential. I think it's better to wait till you get bored with the routine (hey, great sex actually never gets boring). How badly do you need a guy? When you say you are bisexual, some people might think you need to see a guy like tomorrow.

I think it's better if you let your future girlfriend (after you commit to each other) have a sense of control by mentioning, "if you ever feel like you want to try new things out, let me know."

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A female reader, SweetSmoochy United States +, writes (2 March 2011):

SweetSmoochy agony auntFirstly, you do not have to come out until you are ready. Coming from a bisexual female, I didn't come out til I was sure, and only then to my closest friends. Even now, I don't broadcast my seuality and few people know. It's not really any body else's business what your sexuality is.

I realize it's sometimes harder for guys in this situation. If you want to talk to people about it, pick one trustworthy person you know will be okay with it to get your feelings out.

If you want to talk to your girlfriend about it, start by bringing up homo/biseuality in passing instead of relating it to yourself. Do so neutrally and see how she reacts.

If she reacts negatively, state that you don't have a problem with it, then drop it. Later on, think about whether or not you'd rather find someone who would accept that part of you.

If she reacts positively, wait a little while, maybe a week or so, and then try bringing it up to her in a more personal way, relating it to yourself.

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A female reader, peace143 United States +, writes (2 March 2011):

on a scale of 1-10, 1 being not interested, 10 being totally gay. everyone falls somewhere. be true to yourself. dont worry about having to tell anybody anything about your sex life. you will find people that understand over time. im a 6 or 7, but im with a man and 3 kids.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011):

I am not an expert but think you should think deeply before embarking on ahything, that is the only way to really understand yourself before embarking on any kind of relationship. Trying to discover yourself through a relationship or another person never works and "I think" doesn't sound like "I know" so for that reason it would probably be quite unfair to yourself and your future to test the waters until you actually know. I hope this helps.

People are generally born with their sexuality so if it is a case after some internal deep thinking that you know for sure who you are and what you want, then that is a good first step.

Maybe you should talk to a professionl who has experience in the right things for you. Good luck.

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