A
female
age
51-59,
*anyaB
writes:I made a terrible mistake. I am a college student, but I am an older one trying to get a second degree. One of my teachers is the same age as me (and I am also a female). She invited me to couple of her concerts (she plays instruments in a group). After the concerts we greeted each other with hugs. So, I assumed that we are like friends, because also she said that our families should get together in summer. One day she came to the class in a nice blouse. I wanted to compliment her on that after the class, but she was too busy. So, I sent her an Email saying : "I loved your blouse, you looked beautiful". She answered: "Thanks very much!". But the next time she seemed upset during the class. I assume it is because of my Email. How can I get out of this situation? I already wrote her asking: "Did I do something stupid? If I did, I am very sorry! You seemed to be upset today". She answered: "No, of course not! I think I'm just distracted trying to keep my personal calendar straight this week. It's totally part of my personality to forget where I'm supposed to be at what time..."What else can I do to stay friends with her? Should I make an appointment and appologize personally? Or should I even withdraw from the class? I feel very bad!! Please help!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2013):
 Ah so glad I could help.
I've been there.... it's weird the first time it happens... and it's ok.
A
female
reader, TanyaB +, writes (5 April 2013):
TanyaB is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think you defined it exactly right - mad girl crush.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2013):
It was a compliment to a teacher who is becoming a friend.
RELAX if you are a contemporary (age wise) then I see nothing wrong with being friends and I see nothing wrong with complimenting a friend on her attire.
Telling her she looked beautiful just makes it all the better (unless you are hitting hon her which I do not think you are)
I think you really do need to relax. I think you have a mad girl crush here and that's OK and NORMAL.
try to relax and realize that as CMMP said you are only the center of YOUR universe not everyone elses.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 April 2013):
It would only be crossing the line if you're intention was anything other than paying her a compliment. Teachers are human beings just and like compliments as much as anyone.
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A
female
reader, TanyaB +, writes (5 April 2013):
TanyaB is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt looks like my answers are not posted.
Thank you everybody! I stopped worrying now.
It is just that the lesson before my Email she was kind and happy to everybody and then the lesson after my Email she was unattentive to students. So, I thought that it has something to do with my Email. And then somebody told me, that to say that IS a crossing a line with a teacher.
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A
female
reader, TanyaB +, writes (5 April 2013):
TanyaB is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everybody! You made me feel much better.
Well, I thought that, since the previous lesson she was in a very good mood and kind to students, but this lesson she suddenly became unattentive to everybody (and that was day after I wrote her this), then there is a chance that it is connected with me.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 April 2013):
 I think you are READING way more into your "mistake" then how she perceived it.
Let it go.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (5 April 2013):
 I think you are over thinking the situation. I totally agree with C. Grant... you apologized, she responded that there was no need to apologize and that she is a busy college professor. She has dozens of other students and classes to attend to... sadly all her attention can't be focused upon you.
Why would you doubt her word? And why do you think you crossed the line?
You are still getting to know one another on a friendly level and I imagine it can be tough -- with her being your professor... but give her and YOU the benefit of the doubt. I can pretty much guarantee you in a few days from now this will be ancient history... take a deep breath and relax.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): You need to take a step back. You've already apologized, she said it wasn't your fault. No one would get mad at a compliment, I think you're overthinking because you want this relationship with her to be more than just friends.
Stop pushing it, she might feel uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, TanyaB +, writes (5 April 2013):
TanyaB is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOn the other hand, isn't it crossing a line to say to your teacher that she looks beautiful?
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A
female
reader, TanyaB +, writes (5 April 2013):
TanyaB is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmm, interesting opinion, CMMP.
You are right, it sounds as if I think that the world revolve around me. I will learn from it. Thanks.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 April 2013):
You didn't do anything wrong in the first place, which she clearly told you. By insisting on apologizing you're just going to make things awkward.
No offense, but it's time you learned that the world doesn't revolve around you. Just because she looked upset doesn't mean it came from you. Especially if you were trying to pay her a compliment.
It sounds like you may think of her as more than a friend.
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A
female
reader, TanyaB +, writes (5 April 2013):
TanyaB is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, Grant! You really calmed me down.
I wonder if she still will want to be friends though.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (5 April 2013):
 You've apologised, she acknowledged the apology, that should be the end of it. Don't make any more of it -- you may not have been in error in the first place.
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