| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Thanks for your opinionsSo, I'm feeling a bit frustrated. My husband lives a lavish lifestyle and he lives to impress his buddies. It's almost like he buys their friendship. Our mindsets are very different. He is from a different culture. Where they seem to be obsessed with money. When he runs out of money he asks me for money. Its added up alot. I finally put my foot down and I don't give him any if he wants to behave irresponsibly. My bday is coming up and he has the nerve to tell me he needs to make sure his buddy has money and his mom for sallah. Says he needs 1000.00 because prices get raised during sallah. If I ask where his money went hes private. He wont tell me. Yet when he wants something he will ask repeatedly. I told him this morning I think I have been stupid about this marriage. He tells me he is here for a higher purpose, he acts like hes some star. It's really ridiculous. He goes to bars with his buddies if I say anything then he becomes agitated. He is really making me rethink things. This has gotten worse since we married. Any advice ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (24 July 2019):
 So he was already like this before you got married and you still married him? I have to ask, why are you surprised his behaviour is getting worse? Marriage does not change anyone. You cannot force anyone to change; they need to CHOOSE to want to change.
This man sees you as his cash cow. He will carry on seeing you as his cash cow until you draw a line under this. He married you so he could get even more money out of you than before.
You don't say what you get out of this relationship. Whatever it is, you have to ask yourself if it is worth what he puts you through. If not, get out of the relationship and divorce him before you spend any more money on him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2019): Marriage is about intimacy,love,trust. You have to ask yourself are you in love with person, can you trust him. Do you want to grow old together. Don't make the mistake of wasting your life away hoping that they'll change or something will change things, they won't, and you'll spent your whole life waiting, like I did. Its something you have to decide.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2019): What culture exists that allows a spouse of any sex to rinse their partner for money?
None that I can think of. Marriage is a partnership of shared burdens and shared goals.
What burdens and goals has this man helped you with?
Have you asked for advice about this man before. He seems familiar?
If this relationship is sustained on an even keel by you paying up every time he throws a tantrum or gives you the silent treatment, is it a relationship or are you sustaining a man-child?
If you are the person I think you are, do you live with this man? Do you have a life together? What is it that means it's a relationship to cherish. Does he support you, do your friends live him, is he romantic, is the sex great?
All you describe is a parasite. A human tick. What are the good bits?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 July 2019):
 Talk to your family, if you are close.
You say he is from a different "culture" - which is yours and which is his? Easier for me to give advice.
BUT I can give you this general advice. TELL him no. Don't give him a dime. He has known ALL year when this holiday lands and could have saved up. His buddy is responsible for HIS family and HIS mom, your BF isn't. While I get that it's NICE (if you have extra money and can afford it) to help out, HE doesn't HAVE extra money and wants to use YOUR income for this.
I can see why the two of you do not have shared finances. He would have the tow of you bankrupt in a week!
If you don't SEE a future with him, I'd consider getting a divorce, because I DO no see this man changing his behavior. My guess is before YOU paid all the extras... his parents did? so now he expects you to be his ATM?
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