A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a sticky situation. Well i think i love my step sister-very much and i have been for aobut 2-3 years. I live with my mum still as i'm only 15 and shes 15 as well and lives with my dad and step mum. I like her loads, and i need tell her how i feel about her soon. Its always on my mind and i think its a weird situation, but i cant help how i feel about her. Help!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007): ok. i dated my step brother a few years ago and we had a son together. i really felt i loved him and i did, but after 5 years i realised it was more like a brother.
does the girl like you in that way too?
what im trying to say is dont rush. if its meant to be there is no rush.
fiona
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): It is not wrong. You are not blood-related, you didn't grow up together since childhood, and you don't live under the same roof. There is nothing morally wrong about it. You just have to make sure you are both on the same page as far as what you want out of the relationship.
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A
female
reader, baby blue fairy +, writes (10 February 2007):
this is wrong so wrong she's your step sister! find someone else u may feel in love but its nt right find someone hu u no frm school or a m8 best of luck sorry nt really gud advice but it a tricky queston soz !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2007): The last poster brought up some good "what if" questions, but those type of what if situations can be dealt with and handled maturely. They are really no big deal. The question is that are you and everyone else able to handle and deal with those situations. If & when you are older, you have a better chance.
She poses the questions:
"What happens if your dad and her mum split up and move far away from each other? "
Then you learn to move on and keep dating others. You can still keep in touch with her so maybe one day when you're able to afford a plane ticket or drive a car, you can get possibly together. So my answer to this is just live your life, but keep the ties.
"Or what happens if you finish your relationship with your step-sister while your dad and her mum are still together?"
You have to discuss this with her while your dating. You both have to come to the agreement that if the relationship doesnt work out, you will both do whatever it takes to remain friends and not carry any feelings of jealousy or hold any grudges. Also, you have to keep the parents almost completely out of your business when it comes to arguments or disagreements. Go to your friends or a counselor for advice instead. You don't want to risk pinning 1 parent against the other over a relationship that shouldn't really be any of their business anyways. Just like there relationship isnt any of yours.
Keep in mind, when I present these solutions to you...I am giving you the benefit of the doubt...that even though you're young, you are still very capable of handling these situations in a mature way. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): I think that it is not a good idea to pursue a relationship with your step-sister, no matter how you both feel or that you both live in different houses. What happens if your dad and her mum split up and move far away from each other? Or what happens if you finish your relationship with your step-sister while your dad and her mum are still together? Think twice before entering a relationship with her.
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A
male
reader, JS7000 +, writes (6 February 2007):
You're not the only one going through this. I just want to tell you that I'm 32 yrs old and am having strong feelings for my dad's stepdaughter. I can't even think of her as anything involving the word "sister" because it doesn't makes sense with our situation. Her and I never grew up together or lived in the same house. We are both adults. You may be able to find my post at:
i have feelings for my father's stepdaughter
It may give you some good insight
At your age, you're better off probably not going there.
I know it's tough but there's different types of challenges that you'll encounter. They are a little more complex than the usual stuff. Everyone involved has to be supportive and mature about it if you both decide to be in a relationship. I would say just keep a distance from her to avoid any potential brotherly sister type bond. Never use the wor stepsister or stepbrother. Just use first names. Make it clear to other people whenever they refer to you both as stepsister or stepbrother, just quickly tell them in a joking way that she doesnt feel like to me. I consider her a friend. And then you can make a quick joke that she's much too pretty. This will give people a hint, but still make them wonder. More importantly, your setting the right tone to help you avoid that bro/sis bond from happening, or others trying to force that bond on you two. Go to your father's to see him and just keep a friendly distance from the so-called "steps." Only give her more attention if & when you get to see each other away or outside any family gatherings also. This may be a few years before you get a chance to do that.
As a final note: When it comes to the whole stepfamily situation, most people don't realize that these situations are different from family to family... and not every stepfamily necessarily feels or should be obligated to feel like the Brady Bunch. Its unrealistic.
You're not blood-related & you didn't grow up together under the same roof since childern, so there's nothing wrong with the way you're feeling or if the relationship takes place. But if you really feel strong about this girl and see her a someone you could be with long term, you're better off just following my advice and hold out until you both are out the house & self-sufficient, which could take 5-6 yrs. In the meantime, date other girls...see what's out there. You dating experiences will help you in the long run, especially if & when she gets thechance to see you making other girls happy.
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A
male
reader, JS7000 +, writes (6 February 2007):
You're not the only one going through this. I just want to tell you that I'm 32 yrs old and am having strong feelings for my dad's stepdaughter. I can't even think of her as anything involving the word "sister" because it doesn't makes sense with our situation. Her and I never grew up together or lived in the same house. We are both adults. You may be able to find my post at: i have feelings for my father's stepdaughterIt may give you some good insightAt your age, you're better off probably not going there. I know it's tough but there's different types of challenges that you'll encounter
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A
female
reader, Sahshii +, writes (3 February 2007):
people are going to call you an incest.. can you face people chanting "incest" huh? (yes yes i know its not the appropriate term but face it...)
yeah, well. I'd be pretty pissed if that happened, but DUDE if you like her, yknow.. go for it. if you like her a lot that is.. your parental's will probably be pretty freaked but hey.. if you're extremely into her then go for it... maybe you don't get out much? hense resorting to thinking this way about your sister? seriously kiddo, i recon you search elsewhere for a girl because people won't be too accepting of you dating your step sister.. Personally i think you should say "screw you people" and go for it if you think that it will advance into love and so forth..you know.. if it has potential.. otherwise hell no. back off. go out and find wimmins elsewhere. thankyouplease.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (3 February 2007):
 You can't help how you feel and there's nothing technically wrong with you dating your step sister. Morally you will encounter some criticism from people around you though. It's also worth considering that if you break up (and at your age relationships don't tend to last forever) that you risk having to see her over and over. She won't be like other exes you have that you can cut out of your life. If none of this has put you off however I recommend chatting to your mum about it and testing the waters with her. Maybe she can help you with approaching your Dad and step mum?
CD
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