A
male
age
41-50,
*wiftwun
writes:i need some really good advise to save this relationship. i've been with this woman for 8 months and im really happy i found her ...here's the problem. i have way more experience than she does. and she's beginning to realize im not turned on. i cant really fake it like i use to. see shes only been with a few and well me, we'll just say i was 13 when i lost mine.... u could only imagine how wild my mind can be. she really cares for me and tells me she wants to do anything to please me. but i dont wanna seem selfish in anyway. i love the fact that she's innocent...but my mind is so used to "wild" .. i dont know if its me..am i too used to wild girls that i cant be with a good woman? or should i help her please me... see i've done it before and felt bad because a good girl gone wrong never comes back... i dont wanna change this girl.. but conventional methods of having sex just bore me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Well , it sounds to us like you're the one with the problem. You're the one who's bored with conventional missionary. She may realize you're bored but has not complained. If you want her you'll have to tone down your appetites and wait for her to grow more trusting of you to ask you what you want. If you want her to be more confident with you open up. Establish an emotional connection with her. Perhaps you have been concentrating on raw sexual mechanics and have not delved into the ways of one-to-one communication about your relationship. Tell her how she makes you feel. Show her your vulnerabilities.
A
female
reader, alexroliepolie +, writes (14 June 2009):
 I understand what you're saying. :) Physical things are important in relationships, whether it's hugging, sex or everything in between, especially when you're to the point of love. I think that you should find it in yourself. It's a mind-set, this whole "wild girl" thing. If that what you expect and you don't get it, you're going to be disappointed. Look at who she is, and think of how scary it might be for her. That sort of thing happened to me, and when I finally opened up, things were... Amazing. Ha ha. If it's been a long time and she's not very comfortable or hasn't gotten more aggressive or "into it", talk to her. But if it's just been a few weeks since you started being seriously physical, even a few months, just wait it out. Calm yourself down and expect what she can give. If you love her, I think it'll all be okay. Just be happy with the great things you two have. :)
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A
male
reader, swiftwun +, writes (14 June 2009):
swiftwun is verified as being by the original poster of the questionu guys got me all wrong here... im not tryin to make sex our focal point... im just saying that i love this girl and i dont wanna lose her because im use to someone who's confident in bed... my question is how can i help her be more confident with me? .. sex is a part of any relationship I KNOW its not the only part ... but its the only part that were having trouble with...therefore im on here asking for advise in that matter~ got it?
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (14 June 2009):
 Dude, it's simple.
Get over yourself....I lost my virginity at the same age as you, and seen a couple of rodeos and a circus or two...be a man.
If you love this woman as much as you say you will initiate communication with her. It's obvious you haven't communicated this with her in a satisfactory manner. Do you not realize that her "inexperience" could be your chance to really make this a meaningful relationship? You have a unique chance here with someone who has not been around the block, since its an intimacy issue. And give both of you a chance to rediscover why you fell in love in the first place.
Theres gold in those hills and you are only seeing 90 miles of bad roads!
This is up to you to fix since you've communicated it with us...but please be honest with your lover and give her the chance to respond. But work mutually and not selfishly. Honest Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): You have two choices. Decide you love this woman enough to give her time to 'develop' her own sexual interests, styles and probably confidence etc or you dump her now and go and find someone 'wild' and stop wondering whether or not she will bore you next time around. Whilst sexual compatability is important you make it sound like a certificate of achievement with different levels. Maybe you are not doing enough to bring out a relaxed woman who I am sure has sexual fantasies of her own? Perhaps you are slightly intimidating? Look to yourself and see how YOU can develop a sex life that is satisfying for you both. Its not about you going about sex as if "Well is she gonna please me or this is just going to be another missionary position session." Your attitude at the moment is one of 'her versus me' not 'us'. Change your own thinking and attitude and if you can't be bothered or think you're above it then do her a favour and find someone else.
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