A
female
age
30-35,
*mmaaaaa
writes:it all started about 3 and a half months ago when me and my boyfriend of almost a year started getting mad with each other and fighting a lot. we were on and off for a while, constantly "taking a break" and then getting back together. until about a month ago. everything had been going fine for a couple of weeks and then i get this phone call from my boyfriend saying that we needed to break up. i go over to his and he tells me that he "needs a change" and that we can't be together anymore. honestly, i didn't handle it very well and was a complete mess, as was he. we just lay in each others arms for a while but i had to go eventually. i was completley heart broken. then a couple of days later i get a phone call from one of my boyfriends friends and he tells me that he had cheated on me at least twice when we were together. at that point i was completly crushed. i called my ex and told him how he had completly hurt and humiliated me and how he had done nothing but treat me like shit for the whole time we had been together. and that seemed to have got through to him. the next day he was calling me saying that he had nothing in his life that made him happy and that he was so depressed. and then he was calling me for the next week, until he asked to see me. i agreed, and when he turned up he said that he wanted to do everything he could to get me back and that he realised that the reason he broke up with me was because he knew that he treated me like crap and that i deserved better.he also said that the reason things went so wrong was because he was scared of becoming too attached because he's going to college in september and he didn't want to make it difficult to leave. so we decided to work things out. and it was going okay. we weren't officially together but we both knew we were going to get back together. it wasn't great, but we were working at it. then about a week and a half ago we had a major fight and i thought i had lost him for good, but he agreed to hang out with me that weekend and just see where things went. so we did. and it was perfect. we just enjoyed each other's company and it was just as it had been before all the mess started. i was confident that i was going to get him back for real this time. but then three days later he sent me a text message saying that things were going too fast and that he wasnt ready to be together yet and that he wanted to just be friends. i tried to call him back but he wouldn't speak to me. the only way he would talk to me was over text. he said that he's just so stressed out right now does love me and that he wanted to spend time with me when we had the opportunity and soon we'll be together for real. so i was okay with waiting for him. but then i find out that he's going to prom with another girl (she asked him) and i don't know why but i felt so betrayed. so i text him (he still wouldn't talk to me) and told him how upset i was and he just replies that we broke up and that he wasn't thinking about all our stuff when he said he would go and he still wants to work it out later. but i was just so hurt by it all that i text him back saying that he was so selfish. since then he hasn't replied. i tried to tell him i was sorry and i love him, but i got no reply. then i asked him if he still wanted to work things out later or if this was the end, but i got no reply. i don't know what to do!! i love him more than anything in the world and i really don't want to loose him. i don't know whether i should just wait for him to contact me if he wants to,or if i should just turn up at his house and make him talk to me face to face. i just need answers. my whole world is completely crushed and it hurts so bad! what should i do?
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a break, broke up, cheated on me, crush, depressed, get back together, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (5 May 2009):
 Oh dear......
Young Lady,
you have your whole life ahead of you. I am sure this is painful, but be honest:
This guy cheated on you. Then he gives the standard lame ass excuse for breaking up with you. Then he is going to Prom with someone else.
This young man lacks maturity. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but why shed another tear over someone who cheats, manipulates you, and lies to you?
Go out...Summer is almost here. You will never know until you are older just how special your young years are. have some great experiences. Everyone deserves to be respected. Cheating on you is the worst disrespect a significant other can do. Don't settle for that! You deserve better!
The Curb...find the nearest one and kick this goof to it.
A
female
reader, emmaaaaa +, writes (5 May 2009):
emmaaaaa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much.
this answer really helps me.
it's hard to talk to friends and family about this because even though they've said the same thing as you, it's hard to take it cause they all hate him for the way he's treated me, but it really does make a difference hearing it from someone else.
i guess i'll just do what you've suggested. i'll just have to get on with things. he knows where i am. if he truley loves me as much as he says he does then he'll be missing me too. he'll come find me if he wants to. and if he doesn't, well i guess he was never really worth it in the first place.
i'm only young and even if it is over with us, then i guess it's okay cause one day i know i'm gonna find someone who loves me as much as i love him right now, someone who treats me right, and it's gonna be the best feeling in the world.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): Honey you have already said everything you can say. You have to step back and give him some space to make his decision. He knows where to find you and he knows how you feel. I would leave him be for a few days at least. Let him get his head on his shoulders. As hard as it is for you to step back, thats all you can do right now. Go out with friends, dont sit home and mope. You have to keep living. I know this hurts but you can get through it! Good luck............J
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